Given To Fly

Troublesome Commercials....Humorous, or just a flash of ignorance?

12.31.03 (9:14 am)   [edit]
I saw a commercial this morning about this hair removal system. I cannot remember the name of it, but it talks about offering smoother and more effective way of shaving. The product is no bigger than a toothbrush, and it says that it is designed to go places that no other razor or shaver can go.
During the commercial it shows a guy shaving the back of his neck, sideburns, forearm, chest, back, and even the portion that joins the two brows together to for the unibrow. YIKES!!! However, it went on to talk about how you can also shave those hard to reach areas such as the toes, ankles(huh?) and trim those embarassing nose hairs.
I have two thoughts about this...one, why exactly is nose hair unsightly? Everyone has it, so what if it hangs out? I mean really, I can think of far worse physical features that would provide disfigurement, like a sixth finger, webbed toes, or a third nipple. But come on, it's just hair! I do make sure that mine is tucked up in it's proper home, but really, where is it written that nose hair is bad? Everyone has ears, they aren't the most attractive thing, but we aren't trying to tuck them away anywhere....
Secondly, why on earth do I want to cram something up my nose that has been used to trim the hair on my toes and armpits? No really, sign me up!!! I want to be first in line to try that out!!!
Second on my list, the Hummer commercials, mainly because of their slogan...."Like nothing else." Really? Hmmmm, I'll say.
Third, any Old Navy commercial...for obvious reasons. I wouldn't wear clothes there for the longest time just because the commercials pissed me off!
Fourth, the Miller Lite commercial with all of the people falling like dominoes.....which I am sure I will be part of that human chain tonight. But really, I find it funny that a beer commercial involves lots of people falling down.
Fifth, any commercial that has a jingle in which you have a singer belting out a tune for the product. Like gum for instance. Now, I'm not much of a singing type, however, think of trying to get pumped up to belt out a tune for minty fresh breath that lasts, and lasts, and lasts.
Anyway, that is my take on commercials, let me know if you have any that make your blood boil.
Song of the day, I am going to go with a Pearl Jam song today....for no apparent reason other than they are my favorite band, and I love their music. So I am just going to pick one at random....hold on a second.....
still thinking......
um..........
hmmmmm.....
Long Road off the Mercken Ball CD. In times of trouble, things get better, trust me....everyone has ups and downs. So this goes out to all who may be down, "the sun will rise another day!!"

Long Road

I wished for so long...
I cannot stay
All the precious moments...
Cannot stay
It's not like wings have fallen...
I cannot say
Still something is missing...
I cannot say

Holding hands of daughters and sons
In their phase they're falling down
Down, down, down

I have wished for so long...
How I wish for you again

Will I walk the long road?
I cannot stay
There's no need to say goodbye

Oh, the friends and family...
All the memories going round
Round, round round...

I have wished for so long...
How I wished for you today

And the wind keeps rollin'
And the sky keeps turning grey
And the sun is set
The sun will rise another day

I have wished for so long...
How I wish for you today

I have wished for so long...
How I wish for you today
Will I walk the long road?
We all walk the long road

I think Little Debbie is religously bias.

12.30.03 (8:16 am)   [edit]
I have a weakness for Little Debbie Snack Cakes....the seasonal ones. You know the ones that change shape and color for Fall, Easter, Christmas, 4th of July, Memorial Day, my birthday so on. My question is where is the Hannukah Cake, and so on? I think Little Debbie has a religous bias. In this day and age, one would think that she needs to take off her cowgirl hat and be a little more PC!
I bring this up, cuz yesterday some one asked me why I chose "white" as my screen name....it is my last name, I am not racist, far from it. I just want to remove any thoughts right now that I am.
I came from a really small town, 250 people in Nebraska, redneck central, I would like to think that I was one of the most diverse people that lived there. I just don't want people to get a false impression.
I saw one of the funniest things yesterday. I saw a "Living Tree" outside of my local hospital. They put it out this time every year for the holidays. It is nothing more than a evergreen tree of some type with one strand of lights on it. It is the most sickly looking tree I have ever seen in my life, and it is IN FRONT OF A HOSPITAL!!! They could at least use a tree that was ALIVE for the Living Tree! Yikes!
So in honor of the Living Tree, I am going to post The Dreaming Tree by The Dave Matthews Band off the Before These Crowded Streets CD. Other than Under the Table and Dreaming, I think Before These Crowded Streets may be my favorite DMB CD...if you don't have it, run don't walk to your local record store, get it, and absorb!

The Dreaming Tree

Standing here
The old man said to me,
"Long before these crowded streets
Here stood my dreaming tree."
Below it he would sit
For hours at a time
Now progress takes away
What forever took to find
And now he's falling hard
He feels the falling dark
How he longs to be
Beneath his dreaming tree

Conquered fear to climb
A moment froze in time
When the girl who first he kissed
Promised him she'd be his
Remembered mother's words
There beneath the tree
"No matter what the world
You'll always be my baby."
"Mommy come quick,
The dreaming tree has died."
The air is growing thick
A fear he cannot hide
The dreaming tree has died

Oh, have you no pity?
This thing I do
I do not deny it
All through this smile
As crooked as danger
I do not deny
I know in my mind
I would leave you now
If I had the strength to
I would leave you up
To your own devices
Will you not talk?
Can you take pity?
I don't ask much
But won't you speak, please?

From the start
She knew she had it made
Easy up 'til then
For sure she'd make the grade
Adorers came in hordes
To lay down in her wake
Gave it all she had
But treasures slowly fade
Now she's falling hard
Feels the fall of dark
How did this fall apart?
She drinks to fill it up
A smile of sweetest flowers
Wilted so and soured
Black tears stain the cheeks
That once were so admired
She thinks when she was small
There on her father's knee
How he had promised her,
"You'll always be my baby."
"Daddy come quick,
The dreaming tree has died
I can't find my way home
There is no place to hide
The dreaming tree has died."

Oh, if I had the strength to
I would leave you up
To your own devices
Will you not talk?
Can you take pity?
I don't ask much
But won't you speak, please?

Take me back, take me back, take me back...

Save me please.

I wasn't born with enough middle fingers. Driving story Number 5(?)

12.29.03 (11:32 am)   [edit]
I dunno, maybe, I might have more......highly likely. But I was driving yesterday with my good friend whom I have known for over 10 years, Hoaky. Hoaky and I were just driving along talking about one of my ex's. She had a terrible way of controlling me, and it took me the longest time to realize it. It was only after I figured out that I hardly knew my family any more because Jamie couldn't "relate" to them. As if they were the root of a evil. This was one of her many unreal features.
Well as fate would have it, she was on the same road I was on going in the opposite direction, and with so little as a thought of hey you should flip her off.....I did. And it felt GREAT!
That showed her huh?

One man's trash is another's bling-bling....

12.29.03 (8:58 am)   [edit]
I wonder if bling-bling is a hyphenated word or not, perhaps I should consult a person who is far more hip and younger than myself. I am just lucky enough to know what bling-bling is, expensive shiny stuff, ice, diamonds from what I hear on the streets. I once was hip and with it, I wore flannel and could head bang with the best of them, seems times have changed, and now I think that most of the music that I hear on the radio is smelly unoriginal poo, and that kids these days dress far different than I do. Maybe I am getting older, could be, but I know this once I utter the words, those crazy kids these days, and their big pants, and shaggy hair, they need to clean up and get a job, I will officially be old. To each their own I suppose. I guess back in my day, it was fashionable to look bad, no it is fashionable to look, I dunno….baggy, and bling-blingish? Whew the complexities of trying to fit in.
Actually I never really much concerned myself with fitting in, my only concern was and always has been, is to be myself. Hence my lack of anything that blings.
I bring this up because last night, I went out with some friends of mine, some new friends, and one old friend One of my new friends, we call him B showed us his new bling-bling…..he lifted his shirt, and showed us his belt buckle. I thought to myself, to a lot of people, perhaps a belt buckle may not bling enough, but to B it does, and that is all that matters. I am not altogether certain if B was serious or not, I could be reading into it way to much, like I often do, however, I just thought that was a shining example of one persons bling may be entirely different than another’s. I have never owned a belt buckle. Maybe I should get one; perhaps it is the only bling-bling I could afford, because ice is awfully expensive.
Per haps it all is summed up quite simply as being comfortable in your own skin, being an individual. Some of my favorite classes that I ever took in high school were art 1-4. My teacher in that class was awesome, and I know that in her classes she taught one invaluable lesson, to be yourself. Individualism is NOT a bad thing, you don’t always have to fit in, besides what is the point? I think that people will appreciate you more for being open, honest, and up front than putting on a show of lies and deceit.
I am known to be a very opinionated person, and a lot of people don’t like it. Whether I offend them, or they just don’t see eye to eye with me I dunno, but if they want my view on anything, they can always ask, and I will always deliver. I enjoy a good debate like no other, I am not shy about voicing my opinion on anything. To all of those people I have offended in the past, I am truly sorry, because I never meant to do so, that I not my intent. Those who really know me know that I am not a person with evil intent. I probably do give the impression of abrasiveness, again not intended. Just get a chance to know me, I am a loyal friend, and who knows, you might even find me interesting. Maybe, I don’t need a belt buckle for bling-bling, would I be cocky if I were to say I have internal bling? I hope not. I am working on this building self-confidence thing, please tell me if I ever go overboard.
I heard a song over the holidays called Weed with Willie, I m not a country music fan, however, I found this song to be very funny. I couldn’t help to think of my friend CurlyQ. Hey cheer up shorty, life’s to short to be down, surround your self with better people.
Song of the day, since I have babbled about individualism today, I can think of no better song that Who You Are by Pearl Jam off the No Code CD. I love this song, the tribal beats of Jack Irons drumming in this song are simply beyond words.
come to send, not condescend
transcendental consequence
is to transcend where we are
who are we? who we are
trampled moss on your souls
changes all you're a part
seen it all, not at all
can't defend fucked up man
take me a for a ride before we leave...
circumstance, clapping hands
driving winds, happenstance
off the track, in the mud
that's the moss in the aforementioned verse
just a little time, before we leave...
stop light plays its part
so i would say you've got a part
what's your part? who you are
you are who, who you are

Borrowed from two others.....Self Reflection 2003....

12.24.03 (10:22 am)   [edit]
1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before?: Sought help outside of myself
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: Don’t believe in New Years Resolutions
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?: Yes, I became a Godfather this year.
4. Did anyone close to you die?: Fortunately not!
5. What countries did you visit?: Canada everyday……(inside joke).
6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003?: A real job.
7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?: February 6th, personal reasons.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?: Realizing that I cannot find all of the answers on my own.
9. What was your biggest failure?: Not getting more motivated to realize I currently work at a dead end job.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?: Memory loss, I cannot remember…….
11. What was the best thing you bought?: Beer
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?: My own.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: See #12
14. Where did most of your money go?: Mortgage! Anyone want to move in and help?
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?: The Red Sox maybe going to the World Series.
16. What song will always remind you of 2003?: Diamonds on the Inside……by Ben Harper.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?: happier
ii. thinner or fatter?: same
iii. richer or poorer?: depends if this means strictly of monetary value or not, richer in so many different ways.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?: meditation
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?: Going to work at a dead end job.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?: with family
22. Did you fall in love in 2003?: YUP.
23. How many one-night stands?: what’s a one night stand?
24. What was your favorite TV program?: Monday Night Football.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: Hate is a rather strong word, but I strongly dislike Jamie.
26. What was the best book you read?: Animal Farm by George Orwell
27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?: I really like Bob Dylan
28. What did you want and get?: Happiness
29. What did you want and not get?: Out of my house, those payments suck ass!
30. What was your favorite film of this year?: House of 1000 Corpses. Pure 100% entertainment, and nothing else.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: Fulfilled a longtime fantasy.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: More self confidence.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003?: Corportate…..and uncomfortable.
34. What kept you sane?: Support from family and friends.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: I don’t really care for any celebrity, because they are no different than you and me with the exception of two things….money and exposure.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?: Iraq.
37. Who did you miss?: My Sister a lot……luckily I got to see her!
38. Who was the best new person you met?: Greg McDanel
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003: Only you can make yourself happy. Also, it is ok to admit that you have a weakness, and you are seeking help…..it only makes you stronger.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: um – Whew there are so many……….how about, “Saw things so much clearer once you were in my rearview mirror.” From Rearview Mirror off Vs. by Pearl Jam.

Don't drink the orange water, don't try this at home......(not a x-mas story)

12.24.03 (9:22 am)   [edit]
Last night I was looking at the one of the two Pearl Jam posters that I have. The one that I was looking at I got in Knoxville TN back in 1998. The trip included Skinner, my wife, her friend Jill, and I. We rented a car, and drove out there. We had a cooler filled with ice and pop. We also brought some snacks with us as well, fruits, and candy and so on....so we could save money as we were all poor college students at the time. I happened to buy myself some candy corn for the trip. I kept it in the cooler, because I didn't want it to melt in the car, or I would end up with one great big candy corn, which could have it's advantages I am sure, but not when you are driving.
Anyhow, we stopped in Memphis TN on our way out there to stay the night at Skinners dad's house. The next morning we opened the cooler, and wouldn't you know it.....all of the ice had melted. The thing that threw us all of, was that the candy corn had dissolved into the water, and left everything that was in the cooler submerged in a rather gangly looking orange water. We had the candy corn in a ziploc bag and everything......I guess we didn't have it zipped or locked all of the way.
So be warned!!! Candy corn+coolers+melted ice=one great big sticky orange mess. I guess everyone is entitled to one mistake in their life....that was mine.
I am thinking that is all I want to write about today. I could come up with more.....but I don't want to bore you with my what seems like endless drivel.
So to all that reads this, happy holidays to you! I wish you all nothing but the best, and hope this holiday season finds everyone in a safe, warm, peaceful and loving house surrounded by family. Give them all a great big hug, and tell them that you love them, and store it away in your memory.
I remember the last time I wished my Grandma Frenzel a Merry Christmas, and I look back on it fondly, loving memories of family are perhaps the best gift that you can get of all.

Song of the day.....I want to give you a cheesy Christmas Song, but I realize that some of my reader my not celebrate Christmas, and I want to provide entertaining reading to all people regardless of race, color, religion or creed. However, I have a really funny story that involves the repeat playing of Feliz Navidad 20 times over again.

So song of the day......I hope this hasn't been a previous song of the day, but I am going to put it up here anyway, because I saw the CD last night that the song is on, and I almost got it.....the song is Solsbury Hill by Peter Gabriel. I found it on his new greatest hits CD. So this song goes out to all of those who are going home for the holidays....I am, and I am looking forward to it.

Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night

He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing stretching every nerve
I had to listen had no choice

I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My heart was going boom boom, boom
"Son," he said, "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

To keeping silence I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine
Open doors would soon be shut

So I went from day to day
Tho' my life was in a rut
'Till I thought of what I'd say
Which connection I should cut

I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart was going boom boom boom
"Hey," he said, "grab your things, I've come to take you home."
Yeah back home

When illusion spin her net
I'm never where I want to be
And liberty she pirouette
When I think that I am free

Watched by empty silhouettes
Who close their eyes, but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me

Today I don't need a replacement
I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart was going boom boom boom
"Hey," I said, "You can keep my things, they've come to take me home."

Peace and love.....white

A boat full of yo-yos.....

12.23.03 (1:08 pm)   [edit]
So my grandpa told me a joke this past weekend....
A boat of yo-yos was on it's way from China to the US. On it's way over, it sprang a leak and sunk 20 times.

My grandpa sure is funny.....he has told some other jokes, I will try to include one at least once a week to brighten your days. I will file these under Grandpa's joke of the week, a feature you will find exclusively on Given to Fly.

Christmas, and frosty mornings

12.23.03 (8:31 am)   [edit]
Since X-mas is just around the corner, I think that I am going to share my favorite X-mas memory. It happened about 4 years ago, my wife just decided to leave me, and I soon found myself pretty much without any family around to spend x-mas with. My mom and step-dad were heading to New England to watch the Patriots game in Foxboro, so I was left pretty much without any plans. Then my Grandparents gave me a call, and told me that they would fly me out there for X-Mas. As it worked out, my sister also wanted to see me as well, so she came down to see me at my Grandparents house. The plan from there was for me to spend X-Mas with her and her family. This was without a doubt the warmest most peaceful, and over all wonderful x-mas I ever had. The highlight of the trip out east was driving with my sister to her apartment. I cannot recall how long the drive was, I cannot even tell you how much time passed while driving, because we talked the entire time, about love, and life. It was just an amazing trip. Her parents were so kind to me, and I loved being there. I met her brother Chris, who is also adopted, and I just absolutely think the world of him. He is just so happy all of the time, and from what I can tell has one of the most gentle souls on the planet.
This is my greatest x-mas memory, and I am so glad that I have this to hold on to, I wouldn't have traded this experience for the world.

On to other things......we got a really heavy frost this morning, which just made for a beautiful scene while driving this morning. Except for the people who drove around with absolutely nothing scrapped off their windows before they took off down the road. Now, I have nothing wrong with doing that, heck, I even did it myself this morning. However, what I do have a problem with is that all of a sudden this means to some people that you suddenly have to drive 10 mph under the speed limit. Hey, I've got news for you! The road hasn't changed over night, it is still the same road that you drive on every morning on your way to work. Just drive!!!! Come on! Other examples that cause the slowing of dumb drivers....rain, and sun......yes sun......again, this can be avoided......GET A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES!!!! I have seriously driven behind a person who just flat out slammed on the brakes as they were rounding a curve, because the sun was in their eyes.
Anyhow, since it is close to X-Mas....I thought I would share one of my favorite songs for this time of year. It is called Let Me Sleep (It's Christmas Time) by Pearl Jam. This was originally on a single for the members of the Pearl Jam Fan club. They have since released it on the Lost Dogs CD, which I am glad, because I am hopeful that the song will reach more listeners now. It is a wonderful song, I just love the music arrangement in it, it really makes me vision a cold, blustery night, with snow blowing, and icy roads. However, when you listen to the lyrics, you get an entirely different vision....the beauty of music!!

Let Me Sleep.....

Cold wind blows on the soles of my feet
Heaven knows nothing of me
I'm lost, nowhere to go
Oh, when I was a kid...oh, how magic it seemed
Oh, please let me sleep, it's Christmas time

Flowered winds was where I lived
Thought you burned, not froze for your sins
Oh, I'm so tired, and cold
Oh, when I was a kid...oh, how magic it seemed
Oh, please let me sleep, it's Christmas time
Oh...oh, when I was a kid...oh, how magic it seemed
Oh, please let me sleep, it's Christmas time

Oh...oh, when I, if I was a kid...oh, how magic it seemed
Oh, please let me dream, it's Christmas time

I love/hate these shoes!!!!

12.22.03 (1:48 pm)   [edit]
My favorite pair of shoes cause me to shock myself everytime I touch people, or metallic objects of any kind. Every morning when I reach for the door handle of my place of work, it greets me with a nice little ZAP. I figure that there is some sort of formula behind this, which is.......work(2)+shoes=shock therapy. I don't like it.....every time I hand people money when I am buying something, I give them a greeting ZAP, I feel really bad, cuz, I didn't mean to do that, but they better give me the right change.....or I can summon my powers again! Beware of white's zappariffic shoes! I could be a super hero, the Taser.....fighting crime with the super hero shoes.....however, I would NOT wear the unitard that every super hero seems to wear. Like I said, I'm getting a little chunky, and I don't think that I would get much business if I were to wear one. Despite my super human powers of shocking the hell out of everything......note to self, to not get near water while wearing these shoes!!!

I'm starting to develop a low center of gravity, New Years Resolutions(?)

12.22.03 (11:44 am)   [edit]
Ok, I've gotta do something about this....I feel I am getting tubby. So I really have to get my ass in gear. I am thinking of a exercise program, consisting of a mixture of yoga and weight training, with a sprinkling of running. If I were to believe in a New Years resolution, which I do not, I would start this on the 1st of the year. But really I need to start this ASAP, because I am starting to feel a bit conscious about this. I am thinking that I will start when I get back from my family's X-Mas dinner this week.
I do not believe in New Years resolutions for the following reason, why did you put something off that you knew that you had to do for yourself until a certain date? Why not start as soon as you think of the change needed in your lifestyle? I know that there are a number of things that I need to do for myself, so I am working on them, one at a time, slowly and at my own pace. I do know that I am going to start reading a book again starting the first of the year, however, that is entirely by design. I read a book several years ago called [b]The Book of Life [/b]by Jiddu Krishnamurti. This book offers a meditation for each day of the year. I am really excited about starting to read it, it is a very powerful book, and it sheds light on many different questions about one's self. I read each meditation right before I went to bed each night, and I meditated on the subject until I fell asleep. I slept so soundly when I did this, and I had the most vivid dreams.
We had our large family X-Mas afternoon this past weekend. It was really nice to see most of my family together laughing and telling stories and such. I talked a lot to my cousin Troy. I don't know if I had mentioned before or not, but Troy is like a brother to me, I love the guy. We used to hang out with each other all of the time, most of the time we would "cruise" Auburn NE, and listen to music, and just talk about everything. Well, Troy and his family are planning on moving to Pennsylvania this summer as his wife Erika is going to pursue her career. I am going to miss them. Since I moved down there to Kansas City, I hardly ever see Troy but maybe a few times a year. But now, I am going to see him much more before he moves. I realized this might be the last family get together that I will be seeing him at for a while. It made me a little sad, so we talked most of the afternoon, talked about the old times, talked about his future, he was telling me that he will have a big house out there, and I should move with him. I said, well, I have a million and one options now. Erika said that they even might have a Geography Graduate program that I could get into. I am sure I could get into it, but I just don't know if I want to go back to school at this point and time.
I am looking forward to this week, going back to Nebraska, and spending more time with family, I am really starting to see that family is so very important, because no matter what happens to you in your life, they are always there for you. I have a family member who has estranged himself and his family from the rest of us. I still really don't know why, but I haven't seen him and his family for almost two years now. It is a shame too, because I have two little nephews that I haven't been able to see grow during this time, I feel like I have been robbed in a way. I really hope I can see them soon. I will call them, and leave a message with them as X-Mas approaches, much like I did for Thanksgiving, to let them all know that I love each one of them, and I hope to see them soon.
Those are my ramblings for the day, so on to the song of the day, I wonder if anyone likes this idea still, but I do, and I suppose that is all that matters.......
Today's song of the day, it is a little dark, misty, and foggy here in Kansas City today, weather like this always reminds me of when I got my first PM Dawn album. Actually at the time I got it on tape, and I was listening to it, while driving in the most god awful fog I have ever seen in my life. The song of the day is called More than Likely off the Bliss Album. It is a great CD, of course I say that about every CD I post here, that is why I have been called a "music snob."

More than Likely by PM Dawn.....

What's the use in trying
If all my senses say no place exists for you
What's the use in holding out my arms
I couldn't find reasons if I tried to...
What's the use in floating if all it does is tell
you someone's under you
What's the use in being if I learn to be
neglectful to all the things
that mean the most to most of you...
But I can hear me say...

( chorus )
More than likely I'm the one you're living for
If I find out I am then I'll finally understand
when I say...
More than likely I'm the one you're living for
More than likely (living for)...

What's the use in praying
For all the things that mean so much to none
of you...
What's the use in pouring out my heart into
situations I could cry through
Oh, what's the use in closing all the doors
that let the loving into you...
What's the use of loving If I learn
Not to feel anything at all, even if it means
the most to you....
But I can hear me say

( chorus )

Even If you find that I'm transcending most
of my mind...
Through the often closing doors of what's
to come, and what's in store.
Even if because you find I'm spending most
of my love...
To the often closed minds that must require
what you're living for...
What's the use in changing (lets go)
To all the hopes that leave you somewhere
next to lies
What's the use in buying all my time,
to try and figure out the frame that likes to
communicate through signs
I can hear me say...

( chorus )

PS.....what do you think of the facelift?

My friend

12.22.03 (8:17 am)   [edit]
My good friend Loopypatches is a heavily medicated butt wipe.

alright.......try it now, maybe???

12.19.03 (2:16 pm)   [edit]
what do ya think?

Blog face lift.....

12.19.03 (1:54 pm)   [edit]
Let me know what you think....

Life, and milkshakes.....damn right it's better than yours.

12.19.03 (11:27 am)   [edit]
This morning I watched the sunrise, inch by inch over the horizon. I thought to myself how small I am. The sun is moving up the sky, at a distance of what appears inches from my perspective, when in really it is moving hundreds of miles. It made me feel so very small, which is good, because yesterday all of my problems felt so big. Are they really problems or choices? Set backs, or opportunites for advancement? You won't know it at the time of all of your troubles, problems, or situations, but days, weeks or months later, what you currently see as an issue, may be all for the better. You just don't know. Why worry about the future when you should focus on living today. Like my social studies teacher in high school told us, almost all of the time "Today is the best and first day of the rest of your life." Granted this was the only thing I learned from him, but it may be of utmost improtance when you are down.
I heard that Milkshake song this morning, and I thought...........mmmmmmmmmmmm.......milkshakes!!!!Then I thought to myself, what a perfect time to buy stock in Dairy Queen.
Then I made a list of my favorite places for milkshakes....
5. McDonalds.....their triple thick milkshakes are to damned triple thick!
4. Burger King....not really all that better than McDonalds, but they have a slight advantage, about three times less thick than McDonalds hemorrhages in a paper cup!
3. Dairy Queen....just plain yummy.
2. Wendy's.....would be #1 if they had more than one flavor! But nothing beats a Frosty except.....
1. Sonic....I think it's fresh fruit, but whatever it is, it's chunky fruity and Sonirific! That my friends, would bring me to the yard......DAMN RIGHT!!!

I just listen to that song for the beats.......speaking of milk......hey, bully that used to steal my milk money in elementary school.....yeah, I am talking to you...sooner or later (and hopefully sooner) someone is going to bring your cocky ass back down to earth. Your shit smells every bit as much as mine does, you are no better than anyone else, and given that, you have absolutely no right to treat others like feces on the bottom of your shoe. You are 27 years old, act like it. This isn't Burger King, you can't always have it your way. Did life deal you a bad hand when you were younger? Beaten, mistreated by parents, etc.....hey join the club! Boo-hoo, get over it! Do something about it! You are no different than other people in our generation, I repeat, YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT! Do everyone that has to talk to you a favor, suck it up, be a man, see a therapist, get help, get medicated, take some drugs for Godsake's. You do matter to two other little people, they look up to you, act like a role model, not an asshole who is pissed off at the world. Little, little, little, child!

Song for the day....hmm let me think.....I haven't really listened to much music today, as my radio has been tuned to sports radio to see whether or not the trade for A-Rod will take place.....so i am going to just pick one out of the blue....blue.......Miss Blue by Filter off the Title of Record CD.....love this song, it has that kinda lost feel to it.

Miss Blue

Could you stay long enough for me to say goodbye
You can be free as long as you're with me
If you could see the real me you'd bleed
If you could see the real me I'd breathe
Could you still breathe long enough for me
Could you still be long enough for me

Chorus:
When do you think I'll be okay
When do you think I'll be okay

If I should stay when do I pray
If I should stay where do I begin
Do you think I should watch you die
Should we close our eyes and say goodbye

Chorus

Hey you Miss Blue
You think that I'm well to do
Hey you Miss Blue
I fell in love with you
Hey you Miss Blue
I think about you as true
Hey you Miss Blue
I hate it when you cry
Hey you Miss Blue
I hate it when you say goodbye
Hey you Miss Blue
I hate it when you say goodbye

Chorus

You say goodbye
You say goodbye yeah
Don't say goodbye
Say goodbye

Good bye....

While driving this morning.....songs times 3.......

12.18.03 (8:02 am)   [edit]
Go figure another driving story from white....
I saw a huge plume of dark smoke coming out the top of the Folger's Coffee plant this morning, and I thought to myself, some one must have left the coffee maker on.....

Doing lots of thinking today, I haven't been doing this much thinking for a long time, probably a month or so.

To quote a Mother Love Bone song....."Life is what you make it, and if you make a death then rest your soul away."

Crossroads time again....seems I travel this road a lot, which makes me wonder if I am on the right road to begin with. Questioning, and questioning at the age of 26, is it healthy, is it normal?

It is music day today, so I will let my song(s) for the day speak for me today, if I come up with more to write about, you'll be the first to know.

First song of the day.....it's a rather short one....but it has always been a favorite of mine. It is by Fear Factory off the Obsolete CD. Some people think that this is a rather cheesy song, I disagree, it isn't a normal FF song, I will agree with that, but I don't think a slowish song by a heavy metal band makes it cheesy.....it is called Timelessness.

I've felt darkness closing in on me
Chilling shadows surrounding me
I've had the poison leak into my skin
And it corroded my heart away
Bled away
Cut away
Dark night of my soul...

Next song.....totally different sounding than the first, is a song by PM Dawn. I know what you are saying white, what in the hell is wrong with you, PM Dawn, are you right in the head. Well, I have always been a fan, and I love the way they write songs. Check them out if you get a chance, it is off the Jesus Wept CD, and the song is called Apathy...Superstar?

Like you...I'm trying hard to get with you...I guess I'm not so into you...
It's unfortunate I'm not used to any other space.
Lately...I've been trying to erase me...see I'm not into hating me
I've already been driving me crazy, but I can concentrate,
reach me, 'cause I got you babe completely..am I unsure? Absolutely
You contaminate me so well I believe you now,
Truly I care about you so deeply..God I wish I believed me....
I wonder you so much, I've been touched
I think

Everything's OK...I mean if everything's alright.....
almost everyone I know believes in God and love....
So if everythings OK....I mean if everything's alright....
Well then Sympathy you should be the superstar that you are.

Just say so...give the word and I'm vertigo....the existenial Romeo
My emotions teach me well with...a God complex
Teach me...this anger tries to impeach me
and consider idiosynncrasicies dameged me so well that I can't tell
'Cause I think

Dr. Strangelove you should be Dr. Estrangedlove...everything that ever was,
you're so lucky you get to be you and you're all the time
I do everything with you despite, See I don't dance but I try to
Apathy knows you well, 'cause you're a superstar

Next song.....last one for now......is a song by System of a Down and it is called ATWA off the Toxicity CD....

Hey you, see me, pictures crazy
All the world I've seen before me passing by
I've got nothing, to gain, to lose
All the world I've seen before me passing by
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
Hey you, are me, not so pretty
All the world I've seen before me passing by
Silent my voice, I've got no choice
All the world I've seen before me passing by
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
I don't see, anymore
I don't hear, anymore
I don't speak, anymore
I don't feel
Hey you, see me, pictures crazy
All the world I've seen before me passing by
I've got nothing, to gain, to lose
All the world I've seen before me passing by
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
You don't care about how I feel
I don't feel it any more
I don't sleep, anymore
I don't eat, anymore
I don't live, anymore
I don't feel

I have a question......

12.17.03 (1:20 pm)   [edit]
Does anyone know where I can get a ticket to anywhere but here?

What would you do????

12.17.03 (11:21 am)   [edit]
Last night's conversation with my sister consisted of a story that she told me.
She told me that she was going through some of her old t-shirts the other day that she doesn't wear any more to give to a thrift store. Before she took them to the store, she told her husband (Ethan) to go through the the shirts to see if there were any that he wanted to keep and wear. So he did, and he picked out a few. So the other day he was wearing one of these shirts, and she thought to herself, hey, I've seen that shirt somewhere before. As it turns out, Katina had taken these shirts from some guys that she dated in past relationships. She had forgotten that they were in there, as she thought she got rid of them years ago.
So she asked me what should I do? Tell him? Or, not?

What would you do?

I told her, you certainly have to tell him, for obvious reasons. She is good with words, I am sure she can make it sound good.

I also told her that not only would I tell him, but I would also keep them, cut them up into cleaning rags, and use them to clean your toilets exclusively. I think that would be alright, and smooth things over all the better. Kinda like in the movie Singles, where the boyfriend leaves his shirt over at the girlfriends house, and they end up having a rough time, and she ends up using it to scrub her johns.

So, I will pick yet another song of the day....a co-song(?) of the day, off the Singles soundtrack....Drown by the Smashing Pumpkins. Please check out this song if you don't know it, it is a beautiful song.

Drown

No matter where you are
I can still hear you when you drown
You've traveled very far
Just to see you I'll come around
When I'm down
All of those yesterdays
Coming around

No matter where you are
I can still hear you when you dream
You traveled very far
You traveled far, like a star
And you are
All of those yesterdays
Coming around

Is it something someone said?
Was it something someone said?

Yesterday the sky was you
And I still feel the same
Nothing left for me to do
And I still feel the same

I wish, I wish I could fly
I wish, I wish I could lie
I will, I will try
I will, I will
Goodbye

Do you smell that?

12.17.03 (8:56 am)   [edit]
The other day here in my office it smelled like someone was doing laundry, and the stange thing is, I don't work in a laundromat......however, the air in the office often smells like a wet fart, so I think that I will take the laundry smell anyday. But only if it is rain fresh scent....love it!
I think that one of my favorite non-human spokes persons(?) for a product would be the snuggle bear....he was always so cute. Call me odd, but I have always thought so....plus I bet he smelled really good because all he would do is roll around in clean sheets all day.
I had a conversation last night with my sister....and now I will tell you about her,
My mom gave my sister (Katina) up for adoption four and a half years before I was born. When I was 11 my mom told me that I had a sister, but she had no idea where she was. Mom gave birth to Katina in Vermont, and that was the last that mom knew of her where abouts. I told mom then that I will find her, someway, I will find her. It is strange to walk around for a good portion of your life as an only child and wondering if a girl you see walking down the street is your sister. I wanted to stop every one passing by if they were adopted. Here I was in Nebraska, wondering if any of the girls that I knew was my sister. Well, time flew by, and each and everyday I would wonder where she was. Well, about 6 years later, she contacted mom and I. I talked to her for two hours that night on the phone, and we talked as if we haven't missed a day. We had an instant connection, it was amazing. She still lives in Vermont, and since that day I have been in constant contact with her. She is an amazing woman! She looks just like my Mom when she was younger, it is amazing. Katina has a law degree from the University of Wyoming, and she is just a brilliant person.
When I went back to her wedding in October, we had a moment that I will never forget. We had an after party at a persons house, and everyone was there, including my sister, who was still glowing in her wedding dress. She was walking around with me all over the place asking everyone if her and I looked the same, acted the same, had the same smile, and spoke the same. Everyone said yes, it seems every one always does, especially with the smile. Then she looked at me and siad I have an idea, lets look at each other in the mirror. So we went to the bathroom, and looked into it and smiled. Instantly, our eyes teared up, and we realized at that moment that we were indeed of the same blood. We are brother and sister. We have identical smiles, and personalities. It is simply amazing. We have a very strong relationship, and although I missed 17 years of my life spending them with her, it feels like each of those days have been filled in with each other's love for one another. She is my sister.

So that is my story of my sister. There you have it. I hope you enjoyed it. And if you have a sister, or brother, I hope you enjoyed growing up with them, and I hope you are close to them, as my sister and I are with each other. If you aren't I encourage you to do so, for love's sake.

Song for the day, another Jack Johnson song.....I listened to this song a lot when I drove to my sister's wedding, for good reason, cuz I really missed a certain someone named Stacey here at home. She's my girlfriend.......she is in a picture with me from an old posting.

Anyway, both Stacey and I really like this song....it is called Cocoon off of Jack's CD On and On, enjoy....

Based on your smile
im betting all of this might be over soon
but youre bound to win
because if im betting against you, i think id rather lose

but this is all that i have, so please
take whats left of this heart, and use
please use only what you really need
you know i only have so little, so please
mend your broken heart and leave

i know its not your style
and i can tell by the way that you move its real real soon
but im on your side
and i dont want to be your regret, id rather be your cocoon

but this is all that you have, so please
let me take whats left of your heart, and i will use
i swear ill use only what i need
i know you only have so little, so please
let me mend my broken heart

you said this was all you have
and its all i need
but blah blah blah
because it fell apart
i guess its all you knew
and all i had
but now we have
only confused hearts
i guess all we have
is really all we need

so please
lets take these broken hearts, and use
lets use only what we really need
you know we only have so little, so please
take these broken hearts and leave

101 ways to shoot the moon.

12.16.03 (11:43 am)   [edit]
Back in high school I had this crazy notion that everyone wanted to see my ass.....so I always dropped my pants. Every chance I got, I would drop trou. I even copied my ass and made about 40 copies and handed them out in the lunch line once. One senior girl (I was a sophomore at the time) told me that I had more hair on my ass than her boyfriend who was also a senior. I didn't know if this was a compliment, or a slam. Since I have always been rather particular of my ass....is it ok, to hairy, to flabby, to small, to big? I dunno. I can only go by what the mirror shows, and at times that looks a bit distorted, at least I would like to think so....certainly I'm not that ugly. However, I remember going home that night and looking at my ass in the mirror (I haven't done it since, cuz really it's not that great of a site) and I didn't think it looked all that hairy...I think it was just the copy.
I would also walk down the hallway, with my pants pulled a little bit down, I would make sure I was walking in front of Freshman girls, and I would drop my books, bend over, and show a little crack that way. It was all in fun really, I didn't mean to hurt anyone by it, I hope I didn't.
Also.......as if that wasn't enough, in study hall, I would get a pass so I could walk up and down the hall for a while, and while I was roaming, I would see that a classroom ahead had it's door open. When I was about a foot away from walking in front of the door I would pull my pants down about 6 inches, and do a cartwheel.....then continue to walk as if nothing happened. I can only imagine what it was like to be sitting in class, and watching a ass cartwheel outside your door.
I never really got in trouble, because the man was always to busy to bust my balls for bigger things, like my experiments with natural gas in science. Mooning was just an afterthought.

Song for the day, and to keep theme.....Man on the Moon by REM you can find it on Automatic for the People....which is a classic CD, and their new Greatest Hits CD. The song is written about Andy Kuffman, a great comic, and completely misunderstood. If you haven't seen the movie of the same title I suggest you do so. I think it is a great movie, as he was a very interesting man.

Man on the Moon by REM....

Mott the Hoople and the game of Life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andy Kaufman in the wrestling match. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Monopoly, Twenty one, checkers, and chess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mister Fred Blassie in a breakfast mess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's play Twister, let's play Risk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
See you heaven if you make the list. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, Andy did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey Andy are you goofing on Elvis? Hey, baby. Are we losing touch?
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon.
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve, then nothing is cool.

Moses went walking with the staff of wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Newton got beaned by the apple good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Egypt was troubled by the horrible asp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mister Charles Darwin had the gall to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey Andy did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey, Andy are you goofing on Elvis? Hey, baby. Are you having fun?
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon.
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve, then nothing is cool.

Here's a little agit for the never-believer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's a little ghost for the offering. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's a truck stop instead of Saint Peter's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mister Andy Kaufman's gone wrestling [wrestling bears]. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey Andy did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey Andy are you goofing on Elvis, hey baby, are we losing touch?
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon.
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve, then nothing is cool.

Gloves vs. Mittens.......

12.15.03 (11:26 am)   [edit]
Yesterday while watching football, the camera zoomed in on a lady who was wearing mittens, and I thought to myself, I have always preferred gloves, because they have separate fingers. When you wear mittens, you don't really have the freedom of finger use. My mom when I was younger always made me wear mittens, even when I told her I hated them. She thought that it would make it better if she got me the Spiderman or Transformer mittens. But I still didn't like them, although the Transformers were, and still are wicked cool! My favorites were the Dinobots, who were a faction of the Autobots. They were kick ass! Especially when they all formed together to make Megasaur. Talk about tough! Mom was famous for making me wear kinda dumb things. Like western shirts with pearl buttons, and flannel also with pearl buttons. However the dumbest thing she ever made me wear was this pair of cat sneakers when I was about 6 months old. She still has the picture hanging up at home to this very day, and she says it is her favorite picture of me. I'm not so fond of cats, mostly because I am allergic. They might be ok otherwise, but no sooner I even look at one, my chest gets tight, and my eyes itch, it is a horrible feeling. So there I am baby drool going down the front of my shirt, wearing the same grin that I have to this very day (only with teeth) and wearing CAT SNEAKERS!!! YIKES!!!!
Anway, back to the topic, I prefer gloves.....which made me think, would I like socks with built in toes? I don't even know if they make these for guys, I know a girl who has them. But do they all have to come in ultra bright colors, and stripes? Do they make plain white socks, with toes for guys? I wonder, cuz I might ask for some for X-mas. Just to try them out. Because I figure that the logic of me liking socks with toes, like gloves over mittens, I think are pretty high. All in an effort to provide a little more comfort to the feet.
I also found this to be true, snow+cars+drivers+parking lots=a g-damned circus!!!! People drive like complete idiots in parking lots with snow. I wanted to turn to go down the lane in the lot, and as I was turning a car was going to turn onto the little street that I was on, and he was stopped right in the middle of the lane that I wanted to turn down, so I moved on to the next lane, and likewise....F-ERS!!!!! Good lord people! Have some consideration, believe it or not, there are others that are driving on the very roads you are!!!
Anyway, I got a new CD, as recommended by a professor that I had in college (THANK YOU S.S.!!!). It is Blood on the Tracks by Bob Dylan. Where have I been all of this time? Dylan is amazing! I need more, does anybody have any thoughts as to which Dylan CD I should get next, because this one is just amazing. He is a wonderful story teller. I am now a fan. I used to think that his music was just for stoners, as most of my stoner friends really liked him. I now find this not to be true, it is music for everyone who just enjoys music.
And to the anonomous person who writes on my blog, that I need to get a life, and need to get out of my CD world, or what have you......music happens to be my life, and I enjoy listening and writing about it. It is my hobby, and I love it. So sorry if this offends you, perhaps you are jealous that someone has found happiness in a hobby, and in life. I think that there are a lot of people out there who enjoy reading my babble, about observations, thoughts, music, and life. I am not going to change my style of writing to appease one person.
So enough about that, now for the song of the day....off of the new CD that I just purchased......Idiot Wind, dedicated to my number one fan.....

Idiot Wind by Bob Dylan........

Someone's got it in for me, they're planting stories in the press
Whoever it is I wish they'd cut it out but when they will I can only guess.
They say I shot a man named Gray and took his wife to Italy,
She inherited a million bucks and when she died it came to me.
I can't help it if I'm lucky.

People see me all the time and they just can't remember how to act
Their minds are filled with big ideas, images and distorted facts.
Even you, yesterday you had to ask me where it was at,
I couldn't believe after all these years, you didn't know me better than that
Sweet lady.

Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your mouth,
Blowing down the backroads headin' south.
Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth,
You're an idiot, babe.
It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe.

I ran into the fortune-teller, who said beware of lightning that might strike
I haven't known peace and quiet for so long I can't remember what it's like.
There's a lone soldier on the cross, smoke pourin' out of a boxcar door,
You didn't know it, you didn't think it could be done, in the final end he won the wars
After losin' every battle.

I woke up on the roadside, daydreamin' 'bout the way things sometimes are
Visions of your chestnut mare shoot through my head and are makin' me see stars.
You hurt the ones that I love best and cover up the truth with lies.
One day you'll be in the ditch, flies buzzin' around your eyes,
Blood on your saddle.

Idiot wind, blowing through the flowers on your tomb,
Blowing through the curtains in your room.
Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth,
You're an idiot, babe.
It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe.

It was gravity which pulled us down and destiny which broke us apart
You tamed the lion in my cage but it just wasn't enough to change my heart.
Now everything's a little upside down, as a matter of fact the wheels have stopped,
What's good is bad, what's bad is good, you'll find out when you reach the top
You're on the bottom.

I noticed at the ceremony, your corrupt ways had finally made you blind
I can't remember your face anymore, your mouth has changed, your eyes
don't look into mine.
The priest wore black on the seventh day and sat stone-faced while the building
burned.
I waited for you on the running boards, near the cypress trees, while the springtime
turned Slowly into autumn.

Idiot wind, blowing like a circle around my skull,
From the Grand Coulee Dam to the Capitol.
Idiot wind, blowing every time you move your teeth,
You're an idiot, babe.
It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe.

I can't feel you anymore, I can't even touch the books you've read
Every time I crawl past your door, I been wishin' I was somebody else instead.
Down the highway, down the tracks, down the road to ecstasy,
I followed you beneath the stars, hounded by your memory
And all your ragin' glory.

I been double-crossed now for the very last time and now I'm finally free,
I kissed goodbye the howling beast on the borderline which separated you from me.
You'll never know the hurt I suffered nor the pain I rise above,
And I'll never know the same about you, your holiness or your kind of love,
And it makes me feel so sorry.

Idiot wind, blowing through the buttons of our coats,
Blowing through the letters that we wrote.
Idiot wind, blowing through the dust upon our shelves,
We're idiots, babe.
It's a wonder we can even feed ourselves.

White stuff, and floating black objects.

12.13.03 (2:39 pm)   [edit]
Finally, a real snow fall!!! We got about 4-5 inches...thats damn near a blizzard in the midwest!

I was driving today, and I noticed this huge flock of small birds swooping, hovering over the road ahead of me. I watched as the birds in the sky split, and broke flight pattern as the cars passed underneath. Picture, hovering black dots, swaying against a pale white sky, in one cohesive pattern. It was nothing short of remarkable.
I love to drive, you see so much of the area around you all at once. You can observe, and listen to your own music, provide a soundtrack if you will. The soundtrack to the drive today was Dave Matthews recent solo effort entitled Some Devil. Excellent CD, and it seemed like a good choice to drive in the snow and listen to.
I listened to this CD while driving to my sister's wedding a couple of months ago. She lives in Vermont, and it was a lovely setting! Leaves changing colors, right along Lake Champlain. It was beautiful! Remind me at some point and time to tell you more about my sister. She is really quite remarkable.
Anyhow, to the song of the day, I will go with Dodo Bird, from the afore mentioned CD. I'm certain that it has absolutely nothing to do with birds at all, however I just find it a very fitting soundtrack to today's event, and events yet to come....
Have a good rest of the weekend!

Once upon a time
When the world was just a pancake
Fears would arise
That if you went too far you’d fall
But with the passage of time
It all became more of a ball*
We’re as sure of that
As we all once were when the world was flat

So I wonder this
As life billows smoke inside my head
This little game where nothing is sure, oh
Why would you play by the rules?
Who did, you did, you
Who did, you did, you

When was it killed
The very last dodo bird
And was she aware
She was the very last one

So I wonder this
As life billows smoke inside my head
This little game where nothing is sure, oh
Why would you play by the rules?
Who did, you did, you
Who did, you did, you
You say who did, well you did, you

If all the things that you are saying love
Were true enough but still
What’s is all the worrying ‘bout
We can work it out
We can work it out

Oh I wonder this
As life billows smoke inside my head
This little game where nothing is sure
Why would you play by the rules?
Who did, you did, you
Who did, you did, you
You say who did, well you did, it’s you

People tell me I look like Anthony Kiedis, or perhaps Keanu Reeves......

12.12.03 (9:44 am)   [edit]
I say I look more like a cross between my Mom and my Dad.

I was thinking on my way home from work last night about my up bringing. I didn't know my biological father, in fact I have only met him twice. He is far more hairy than myself. Kinda round too. I am not so much, I am kinda skinny, though I find that if I eat something really fattening it is starting to go right to my belly, so I am thinking I have potential to be round.
I was mostly raised by my Mom, I am a momma's boy, I will admit, and I have no problem admitting that.
My step-father is a truck driver, and I mostly only saw him on weekends, so really I grew up mostly fatherless, except for that one time when I called my Mom a bitch, and I got a heavy dose of fatherhood placed directly on my ass.
I grew up mostly in Nebraska, in a small town of about 350 people. I loved it. It was quiet, my favorite cousin lived down the street from me, my girlfriend, who I only kissed 5 times in two years of seeing her lived down the street from me, and Skinner lived down the street from me.......come to think about it the entire town lived either up or down the street from me. I also went to high school in this town as well. The population of the town doubled on school days. It was really kinda neat.
I also went to a country school......that's right Little House on the Prairie style, although, the girls didn't wear dresses everyday, and the boys didn't wear suspenders every day. I don't think I ever wore suspenders. Anyway, other than that, what you see on television, is pretty much what country school was like. Oh yeah, we DID have electricity and running water too, unlike TV. I had recess when I was in 8th grade!!! How many people can say that?
I loved growing up....life was so simple....now I have to pay bills, and so on...that kinda sucks......although, I like my truck! I guess I should keep paying that bill huh? I kinda like lights and electricity too......so, yeah, i think there is a pattern here, keep working and keep paying your bills.....
I think that is about all I have to say today....my mouth is getting better.....still a bit raw, but better. However, I think that I am coming down with a cold, cuz I feel like I have a porcupine in my throat, and last night when I was trying to fall asleep, it felt like someone was standing on my chest. I found it really hard to breathe. Eventually I fell asleep, either it was due to lack of oxygen, or that I was just plain tired. Either way, I feel rested.
Song for the day.....The Joker by The Steve Miller Band
Why? Cuz it is almost the weekend, and this is most certainly a weekend/party song. However, I doubt if I will be partying much, if at all this weekend, I think I will sit around my house, and take it easy, maybe pick up my guitar and play a little. Maybe The Joker could be a slacker song too, in fact I am certain it is. Also I think that I will include Driftin' by Pearl Jam as a taking it easy slacker song too........

The Joker.....

Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
Cause I speak of the pompitous of love

People talk about me, baby
Say I'm doin' you wrong, doin' you wrong
Well, don't you worry baby
Don't worry
Cause I'm right here, right here, right here, right here at home

Cause I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one

I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run
Wooo Wooooo

You're the cutest thing
That I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Ooo-eee baby, I'll sure show you a good time

Cause I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run

I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one

Wooo Woooo

People keep talking about me baby
They say I'm doin' you wrong
Well don't you worry, don't worry, no don't worry mama
Cause I'm right here at home

You're the cutest thing I ever did see
Really love your peaches want to shake your tree
Lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey, lovey-dovey all the time
Come on baby and I'll show you a good time

Driftin'

Drifting, drifting, drifting away.
I got myself a mansion, then I gave it away.
It's not the world that's heavy, just the things that you save.
And I'm drifting, drifting away.

Drifting, drifting, drifting along.
I rid myself of worries, and the worries were gone.
I only run when I want to and I sleep like a dog.
I'm just drifting, drifting along.

The suitcoats say, "There is money to be made."
They get so damn excited, but I guess it's their way.
My road it may be lonely just because it's not paved.
It's good for drifting, drifting away.

The suitcoats say, "There is money to be made."
They get so damn excited, nothing gets in their way
My road it may be lonely just because it's not paved.
It's good for drifting, drifting away.

Drifting, drifting, drifting, uh huh.
I feel like going back there, but never for long.
I sometimes wonder if they know that I'm gone.
I'm just drifting, drifting along.
Drifting, drifting along. Drifting, drifting along

Have a good weekend.....

I got a milkshake and.....

12.11.03 (1:40 pm)   [edit]
I drank it way to fast now I have a brain freeze. However my mouth feels lots better.....WHEW!!!!!

Is a pimp cup full of pimp juice?

12.11.03 (11:25 am)   [edit]
If so that is really kinda sick.
I was watching some of the Billboard awards last night, and I thought to myself, how did some of these people get to be so famous and great? Really who in the hell wants to listen to Jessica Simpson talk about what she thinks? Or listen to everyone thank God for winning, while you listen to their music and they are talking about killing and raping....I am certain God is saying you are welcome.
So last night I had frozen pizza for dinner last night and burnt the hell out of my mouth. Usually I have quite a tolerance for hot food, I figure the hotter the better. This is a trait that I learned in high school....the hotter the better, because you have to chew really fast and swallow before you burn several layers of skin off in your mouth. This takes away the amount of time the food stays in your mouth, thus less time you have to taste it. Like Skinner says, some people live to eat, some people eat to live....I am the latter catagory. However in high school, I ate very few things outside of beans.....hot or cold, that way when 7th hour came around, I could sit in the back of the room and fart in my favorite teachers class. It was science, and I just chalked it up to conducting and experiment on the affect that beans have to natural gas. I got a C in that class.....I don't know why, because my experiements were always successful.
So anyway, yeah, my mouth really hurts today.....maybe I need to eat some ice cream, which I eat frozen, not hot. But I do chew on it. Some people don't, I do. I don't know why, there isn't anything in plain ice cream that I can choke on, it is just habit. Skinner inhales ice cream, no eating involved.....it is gone as soon as you put it in front of him....it is really something. Skinner is the ice cream king, he ate this big ice cream sundae in Des Moines called a ramalamadingdong once. From what I hear, it was nothing short of amazing. I guess only a few people can accomplish such a feat, much like climbing Mt. Everest.
So instead of eating ice cream today, I ate chili, which brought a tear to my eye, given the current condition of my mouth........and pretty soon, I am thinking that it will be bringing tears to other people's eyes as well!
Anyway, on to the song of the day.....

I am in a mellow music kinda mood today, so I think that I am going to post Street Spirit (fade out) by Radiohead off The Bends CD. There is nothing mellow about the lyrics of the song, however, the music it's self is quite soothing and melodic when you just focus on it. The lyrics themselves are really quite scary, and IF this song is performed live by Radiohead, they usually perform it last because it drains Thom (the lead singer) to sing, and actually feel the lyrics. This is one of the reasons why I love Radiohead, they are true musical artists. They don't care if their music is accepted or not, they create, and perform, and love it.

Street Spirit (fade out).......

Rows of houses, all bearing down on me
I can feel their blue hands touching me
All these things into position
All these things we'll one day swallow whole
And fade out again and fade out

This machine will, will not communicate
These thoughts and the strain I am under
Be a world child, form a circle
Before we all go under
And fade out again and fade out again

Cracked eggs, dead birds
Scream as they fight for life
I can feel death, can see its beady eyes
All these things into position
All these things we'll one day swallow whole
And fade out again and fade out again

Immerse your soul in love
IMMERSE YOUR SOUL IN LOVE

Don't cross me today + song of the day.

12.10.03 (1:43 pm)   [edit]
I am in one of those moods today where everything pisses me off. The person in the cube across from me cooked some popcorn, and the smell of it is pissing me off. Listening to her crunch on EVERY single kernel, is driving me mad!
Plus the following equation snow+people+drivers=idiot s never held more true than today. Lovely how one person who doesn't know that keeping momentum in icy conditions, even if it is a simple crawl, will lessen your chances of getting stuck. Well not only did some tool get stuck, but they managed to get me to stop, and I got stuck too....I was a half hour late for work today, not that it matters, cuz I don't really care for working here that much anymore anyway.
There is a project here at work that the management wanted done probably by now, but they never gave us guidelines. So when we kept asking questions, they thought they should investigate the matter. Well guess what, they figured out it wasn't exactly a walk in the park after all. Now, we have been waiting for almost two months for guidelines on a project that was of utmost importance and needed to be done ASAP.
I am sick of this place.
However, I am currently waiting for a phone call to set up an interview to work with FEMA maps at a engineering firm. I am very excited for that possibility.
It would get me outta here, and get me back into GIS, rather than pencil parcel mapping which was the standard of mapping 20 YEARS AGO!!!! FUCKERS!!!!!!!! They lied to me when they hired me! Now they won't even shell out 5,000 for a single license of GIS so I can get this turd to float!
So song for the day, since I am being treated like a giant turd by my management, and feel about two inches tall is Jesus Christ Pose by Soundgarden......because this song is so agressive, makes me want to go home and bench press until my chest gives out. I would say that it makes me want to fly up to Minnesota and kick my managers ass, but, I don't believe in violence.

Anyway, listen to the drums in this song, Matt Cameron, now the drummer of Pearl Jam and Well Water Conspiracy is a drumming GOD!
Jesus Christ Pose by Soundgarden off the Badmotorfinger CD.

And you stare at me in your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out like you've been carrying a load
And you swear to me you don't want to be my slave
But you're staring at me like I need to be saved

In your Jesus Christ pose
Arms held out
In your Jesus Christ pose

Thorns and shroud like it's the coming of the Lord
And I swear to you that I would never feed you pain
But you're staring at me like I'm driving the nails

In your Jesus Christ pose
And you stare at me
In your Jesus Christ pose

Arms held out like it's the coming of the Lord
And would it pay you more to walk on water
Than to wear a crown of thorns
It wouldn't pain me more to bury you rich
Than to bury you poor
In your Jesus Christ pose

Waiting in line and random thoughts

12.09.03 (12:21 pm)   [edit]
So last night while standing in line for the rawk show, there was this dude in front of us who was just babbling non-stop about himself, and how cool he was. Some reason I had to listen to every word, and I can sum it up to this.....so dude, we were SO drunk, and I had all of my CD's and they were stolen, and we were like, and they were like, and she was like........about this time I was like about ready to tell him to stop taking up all of the air, and do us all a favor and leave immediately.
Well, as the show began radio personalites were introducing the bands as they were getting ready to perform. Well wouldn't you know it, but this guy was like a radio DJ called Slimfast who works at 96.5 the Buzz here in Kansas City. Are you kidding me? Seriously, this guy must have a script in front of him before every broadcast during the day, because really he didn't have much to say while I was standing in line that was not including himself. I never thought a person was so full of himself, yet this dude was rambling on and on about how great he was. This is a huge peeve of mine......people who think they are the best thing to grace the planet. To quote a line in Satan's Bed by Pearl Jam off the Vitalogy CD, "I shit and I stink, I'm real, join the club."
Hey Slimfast, get over your vanity buddy, you aren't that cool!

Other peeves........white rappers (The Beastie Boys are excluded) Kansas drivers. People who drive 45 in the fast lane in a 55 mph zone because it is raining. Men who do not buy their women flowers on a day when they least expect it. Abusive men. I have more, but, I cannot think of any at this time.

I was thinking the other day about snow. As we are about to get our first official snowfall of the year, I was thinking about all of the fun times involving snow. Times of getting out of school early so I could go home and play tackle football with a bunch of other guys. That was always so much fun. Putting on the longjohns, jeans, and coveralls, and hitting people as hard as you could because you had so much clothing on it didn't hurt at all. Unless you got hit in the nose.....ouch!
Also, the manley ritual of peeing your name in the snow. I do not know of a girl that has ever done this, however, then again.....it isn't something that you ask girls this day and age. I have a rather loopy name when you write it out, so I always had to make sure I drank a lot of water before the attempt. I was always successful, as I have a bladder the size of Texas. Seriously, I am sure I can hold water like a camel.

Anyway, on to the song of the day......on the way to the concert last night we drove by the Uptown Theater, where on February 14th 2000, I saw Chirs Cornell play. Skinner and I went, and that night, I shook Chris Cornell's hand. He has been one of my favorite artists since the early 90's, and finally not only after about 10 years do I get to see him, but also shake his hand. It was a great show, and I will remember it always. So here is the song that I was anxiously waiting to here that night, and it is called Sunshower, it is off the Great Expectations sound track. I love this song. I always get this visual of a persons spirit being so broken, and down trodden, and somehow finding solace, and meaning. I often look to this song in times of trouble........

Sunshower by Chris Cornell

Dark as roses, fine as sand
Feel your healing and your sting again
I hear you laughing and my soul is saved
On forgotten graves you cry

Crawl like ivy up my spine
Through my nerves and into my eyes
Cuts like anguish
Or recollections of better days gone by

But it’s all right
When you’re caught in pain
And you feel the rain come down
It’s all right
When you find your way
Then you see it disappear
It’s all right
Though your garden’s grey
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
In the sweet sunshower

Eyes like oceans so far away
A feather trail to a better way
Worried mornings turn into days
Then into worried nights

But it’s all right
When you’re all in pain
And you feel the rain come down
Oh it’s all right
When you find your way
Then you see it disappear
Oh it’s all right
Though your garden’s grey
I know all your graces
Someday will flower
Oh in the sweet sunshower
Oh in the sweet sunshower
In the sweet sunshower

I know all your graces
Someday will flower
In the sweet sunshower
And it’s all right
All you’ll be you are today
Are today
It’s all right
All you’ll be you are today
Are today.........

Dreams and Jane's Addiction

12.08.03 (7:32 am)   [edit]
I have a reoccuring dream that I hover about all over the place.....while sitting indian style. I am wondering if these dreams are telling me that I really need to get back into doing yoga, those who have been deep into meditation will understand. Funny, I was floating about the other night, and while wearing a pair of shorts, and kinda floating over head of all of these people, one person grabbed me, and started to dot my legs with a black magic marker. Symbolism? Does anybody translate dreams, can someone tell me what the hell this means?

I am going to see Janes Addiction tonight at a really small venue, and I am excited! The Beaumont Club, in case there is anyone out there that can relate to KC. I am really excited! It has been a while since I have been to a concert.....last one, was Pearl Jam in Chicago I am thinking....I love concerts!

The best concert I think that I ever saw.....well maybe it is a tie between the Dave Matthews Band....(front row seats) and my first ever Pearl Jam show.....RAWK!!! I will go in to detail at a later time.....

Song of the day........Given to Fly.....my Blog's name sake.......everybody has "their" song, one that they can relate to, and one that identifies who they are. This is me.....

Given to Fly by Pearl Jam off the Yield CD, one of the most under rated CDs of modern rock. If you do not have it, get it. I remember the first time I heard this song, I was sitting in my appartment complex's parking lot Horizon's West in Maryville MO. A radio station was airing a new Pearl Jam song off the Yield CD at the top of every hour. The temperature was about 15 degrees, and I sat out in my car listening, lost in a new song. It was amazing. I felt as though I was flying.
I also think about my drive that I took from Denver to Laramie Wyoming to visit my sister at school. That has to be one of the best drives that one could possibly take. It is very scenic! The sky was so blue, and big, and the land scape was and still is simply remarkable. I was listening to this song, and again, I was flying.

So here it is again......Given to Fly by Pearl Jam via Yield.

he could have tuned in, tuned in, but he tuned out
a bad time, nothing could save him
alone in a corridor, waiting, locked out
he got up out of there, ran for hundreds of miles
he made it to the ocean had a smoke in a tree
the wind rose up, set him down on his knee
a wave came crashing like a fist to the jaw,
delivered him wings, "hey look at me now..."
arms wide open with the sea as his floor
oh, oh, oh...
he's flying, whole!
high! wide! oh...
he floated back down cause he wanted to share
his key to the locks on the chains he saw everywhere
but first he was stripped, and then he was stabbed
by faceless men, well fuckers...he still stands
and he still gives his love, he just gives it away;
the love he recieves is the love that is saved
and sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky
a human being that was given to fly...
flying! whole...
high! flying! whole...
he's flying! woah...
high... woah... oh...

Comfort food in bed.....I took a drive today.

12.04.03 (3:09 pm)   [edit]
I was eating comfort food the other day in bed.....chocolate, and I was reminded of a saying from one of my friends in high school back in the day. He would say "I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers." He would say this while commenting on a female which he found decently attractive, which is basically anything with a pulse, and walks up right. I thought what an amusing saying really....because I love to eat in bed, nothing better than reading a book or watching TV while sitting or lying down in the best seat in house.
So I woke the next morning and found a huge melted chocolate stain on my chest, and sheets.......guess maybe I should stick with crackers, at least I can just wipe them off on to the floor and vaccum later.
I was driving about today, and I remembered something that was told to me a long time ago about my tastes in music, and how not only am I very much a music snob, but also my tastes varies from season to season. So today I decided to test it out on my drive to work. I started out with an old classic Sepultura song called Policia......tough stuff!

Lyrics.....
dizem que ela existe pra ajudar
dizem que ela existe pra proteger
eu sei que ela pode te parar
eu sei que ela pode te prender/te fuder

policia para que precisa
policia para quem precisa de policia
policia para que precisa
policia para quem precisa de policia

dizem pra voce obedecer!
dizem pra voce cooperar!
dizem pra voce toma no cu!
dizem pra voce filha da puta!

policia para que precisa
policia para quem precisa de policia
policia para que precisa
policia para quem precisa de policia

English translate: Police

they say it exists to help
they say it exists to protect
I know it can stop you
I know it can arrest you/to fuck you

police for who need
police for who need police
police for who need
police for who need police

they tell you to obey them!
they tell you to collaborate with them!
they tell you: take the asshole!
they tell you: son of the bitch!

police for who need
police for who need police
police for who need
police for who need police

Next, I tried......Roses From my Friends by Ben Harper....

I could have treated you better
but you couldn't have treated me worse
but it's he who laughs last
is he who cries first

Sometimes I feel I know strangers
better than I know my friends
why must a beginning
be the means to an end

The stones from my enemies
these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive
the roses from my friends

When the last word has been spoken
and we've beared witness to the final setting sun
all that shall remain is a token
of what we've said and done

When all we've had has been forsaken
distant church bells no longer ring
that's the sound of a heart taken
and the story of tears from a king

The stones from my enemies
these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive
the roses from my friends

This may be the last time I see you
forgive me for holding you close
this may be the last time that I see you
so of this moment I will make the most

This may be the last time I see you
but if you keep me in your heart
together we shall be eternal
if you believe
we shall never part

The stones from my enemies
these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive
the roses from my friends

I guess that she was right! Because Roses from my Friends sounded much better than than Policia......not do take anything away from Sepultura, because that is a kick ass song, but...mellow is certainly the way to go as the temps fall, for me anyway.

Song of the day, although I have already shared two, neither is what I am into today.....I am listening to Jack Johnson's Brushfire Fairytales CD, and the song called Bubble Toes is sticking out to me today.....it is kinda up beat and catchy.....I dunno.....a fun song for a change....
wanna here it, here it go.....

It's as simple as something that nobody knows that her eyes are as big
as her bubbly toes
on the feet of a queen of the hearts of the cards and her feet are all
covered with tar balls and scars
It's as common as something that nobody knows that her beauty will
follow wherever she goes
up the hill in the back of her house in the would she love me forever,
I know she could

I remember when you and me mmm how we used to be just good friends
Wouldn't give me none
But all I wanted was some
She's got a whole lot of reasons
She cant think of a single one
That can justify leaving
and he got none but he thinks he got so many problems
Man he got, too much time to waste

His dreams are like commercials
But her dreams are picture perfect and
Our dreams are so related though they're often underestimated

It's as simple as something that nobody knows that
Her eyes are as big as her bubbly toes
On the feet of the queen of the hearts of the cards
And her feet are infested with tar balls and

La da da da da da

Well I was eating lunch at the D. L. G.
When this little girl came and she sat next to me
I never seen nobody move the way she did
Well she did and she does and she'll do it again

When you move like a jellyfish
Rhythm don't mean nothing
You go with the flow
You don't stop
Move like a jellyfish
Rhythm is nothing
You go with the flow
You don't stop

It's as common as something that nobody knows it
Her beauty will follow wherever she goes
Up the hill in the back of her house in the wood
She'll love me forever, I know she

If you would only listen
You might just realize what you're missing
You're missing me
If you would only listen
You might just realize what you're missing
You're missing me

It's as simple as something that nobody knows that
Her eyes are as big as her bubbly toes
On the feet of the queen of the hearts of the cards
And her feet are infested with tar balls and....

I was thinking.......

12.03.03 (11:28 am)   [edit]
Last night as the rain that was hitting my window was changing to snow, about the hardships of life. The ups and downs, challenges and trials. Some people look to hard times as just part of life, and they don't really let these times get them down. Others look to hard times and want to crawl into a hole for a while, until they are ready to face the world again. In either case, I really don't think that one method is right or wrong, but it is basically up to the individual, and what they need. Yeah, sure, I admit, I get down, and hit bottom, usually quite hard, but I seem to bounce back one way or another. It is just a matter of time before things will be OK again....before I can accept and enjoy simplicity. Funny how emotions are sky high when things just aren't going your way. A personal defense, I suppose.
Anyway, that is really about all.
Life, I wish it came with an instruction book.

Song of the day......

If You See Her Say Hello, performed by Jeff Buckley.
I believe that this song was orginally performed by Bob Dylan, but I could be wrong.....anyway.....my mood today seems to fit this song.....

If you see her, say hello, she might be in Tangier
She left here last early spring, is livin' there, I hear
Say for me that I'm all right though things get kind of slow
She might think that I've forgotten her, don't tell her it isn't so.

We had a falling-out, like lovers often will
And to think of how she left that night, it still brings me a chill
And though our separation, it pierced me to the heart
She still lives inside of me, we've never been apart.

If you get close to her, kiss her once for me
I always have respected her for busting out and gettin' free
Oh, whatever makes her happy, I won't stand in the way
Though the bitter taste still lingers on from the night I tried to make her stay.

I see a lot of people as I make the rounds
And I hear her name here and there as I go from town to town
And I've never gotten used to it, I've just learned to turn it off
Either I'm too sensitive or else I'm gettin' soft.

Sundown, yellow moon, I replay the past
I know every scene by heart, they all went by so fast
If she's passin' back this way, I'm not that hard to find
Tell her she can look me up if she's got the time.

Life is Heavy

12.02.03 (12:19 pm)   [edit]
I have had a last couple of days that are going to change the rest of my life forever. Kinda a long story, on that goes back about 6-7 years. Anyhow it all came to a head today...I got a divorce. The divorce isn't really the thing that I am upset about, it is the fact that I knew as soon as I started a relationship with this girl, that the timing was terribly wrong, and now I feel not only did I waste a lot of time off my life, but her's as well.
So now I have developments that could take place all over the board. I have possible new jobs from anywhere from where I live now, to New Hampshire. It is hard to say what these next couple of weeks are going to do to the rest of my life.
Funny, how one or two events in your life can change the rest of your life, and you know it at that time. I currently have two paths I could walk down, and both are going to give me much different results. Both have an unforseen conclusion. All I know is that Life is Heavy sometimes. Reminds me of a line from the Professional, where the little girl asks the hitman, "is life always this hard or does it get easier?" He answers, "no, it is always this hard." I dunno, maybe I could be down, maybe Decembers are a bad month for me....seems to have been in the past, can't seem to shake it.
Song for the day....
Last Good Bye by Jeff Buckley.......goes without saying. But really the answer or personal meaning behing why it is the song of the day may surprise you, it does me.....it's not about Jamie.

This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then i'll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you'll ever know

This is our last embrace
Must I dream and always see your face
Why can't we overcome this wall
Well, maybe it's just because i didn't know you at all

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry 'cause i know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye

Did you say 'no, this can't happen to me,'
And did you rush to the phone to call
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all
You didn't know him at all, oh, you didn't know

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime
Burning clues into this heart of mine
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memories
Offer signs that it's over... it's over

PS.....prayers requested.......it would mean so much!