Given To Fly

PJ

06.05.06 (10:30 am)   [edit]

Only for you would I go to a city, one where I have said many times I never wanted to visit, just to see you.

 

Friday, I went to bed at 10:30pm, I wanted to get to be sooner, but the business of life sometimes doesn’t cooperate.  So I say I went to bed at 10:30, I think I fell asleep at something like 1, then my phone rings at 1:30 as I became the subject of a drunk dial…..I read who it was, I didn’t answer, didn’t want to…that is a story all on it’s own and I don’t want to get side tracked. 

 

Saturday, got up at 4, made sure I had everything I needed in my back pack ready to go…..one day worth of clothes (check), toothpaste, toothbrush, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, contact stuff (check), mp3 player with the Albany show that PJ played few weeks prior (check), Bible, and youth group stuff…..check.  Got to the airport at 5, on board and 5:40, flying by 6, and on my way to Milwaukee.  First time I have ever been there, and it is really green up there….they have obvisouly gotten more rainfall than we have in KC.  Wish I could say more about Milwaukee, but I was only at the airport.  Next stop NYC, got there about 11, as we were in a holding pattern for landing as there were storms around the area.  Waited for my buddy who landed about a half hour after I did, and we were off to get a shuttle from LaGuardia to our hotel, the Pan American Hotel.  It was kinda a cool, misty day in NYC, about 66, and kinda foggy.  Vinnie was our driver from the airport, and yeah, he had a really think NY dialect, it was kinda funny.  My first thoughts of NYC were this….in no particular order, it’s kinda grey and gloomy here, lots of people, lots of different kinds of people, lots of different kinds of people speaking lots of different kinds of languages, lot of traffic, lots of horns that work, and every one knows sign language.  We get to the hotel, the plan was to bring our backpacks up to our room, and then proceed to Times Square to walk around, and then to catch our bus (which left at 5) at the station just off of Times Square to go to the PJ show in Jersey.  However, here are the things that prevented that happening…

1.  Check in was at 12, we weren’t able to check in until 1:30 as housekeeping didn’t get to our room yet.  So we decided to walk around the neighborhood in Queens for a while…..uh….yeah….we are pretty sure we saw our first mugging the moment we walked out of the door.

2.  The R line of the subway system, the line that was to be our main mode of transportation around the city….well it was under construction at certain locations, therefore access at some stops was not permitted…..therefore, we had to take 5 steps back to move 4 steps forward….it was a nightmare!  In our travels in subway land, in which I felt a lot like Mario in Pipeland, I was actually asked for directions how to get from Queens to Manhattan by a cute girl with a heave dialect, and I was actually able to help her out.  Also we saw our first rat….about the size of a small dog.

So given these two events, we had planned on getting to the Square around 2-2:30.  I think we got there around 3:30, just enough time for us to walk around, see a few sights around the square area, such as, Broadway (we saw where Julia Roberts is doing her play, where Rent is being put on) etc…lots of sights.  Our hunger though was out weighing our need to sight see…so we walked around a bit more, looking for a good NY pizza place, and we settled on a place called Famiglia http://www.famousfamiglia.com/main.htm" title="http://www.famousfamiglia.com/main.htm" target="_blank"http://www.famousfamiglia.com....  It was damned yummy!  After having this slice of pizza, we decided we were still hungry, so we went and had some Nathan’s hotdogs.  Walked over to the bus station, and caught our bus that took us through the Lincoln Tunnel http://www.panynj.gov/CommutingTravel/tunne ls/html/lincoln.html" title="http://www.panynj.gov/CommutingTravel/tunne ls/html/lincoln.html" target="_blank"http://www.panynj.gov/Commuti... over to Jersey.  We got our tickets, 25 rows from the stage on Stone’s side, which is stage left.

Ed came out and did a cover of “The Boss’s” (since we were in Jersey this makes sense) No Surrender for a preset before My Morning Jacket joined him on stage for a song.

 

We busted out of class had to get away from those fools
We learned more from a three minute record than we ever learned in school
Tonight I hear the neighborhood drummer sound
I can feel my heart begin to pound
You say you're tired and you just want to close your eyes and follow your dreams down

We made a promise we swore we'd always remember
No retreat no surrender
Like soldiers in the winter's night with a vow to defend
No retreat no surrender

Now young faces grow sad and old and hearts of fire grow cold
We swore blood brothers against the wind
I'm ready to grow young again
And hear your sister's voice calling us home across the open yards
Well maybe we could cut someplace of our own
With these drums and these guitars

Blood brothers in the stormy night with a vow to defend
No retreat no surrender

Now on the street tonight the lights grow dim
The walls of my room are closing in
There's a war outside still raging
you say it ain't ours anymore to win
I want to sleep beneath peaceful skies in my lover's bed
with a wide open country in my eyes
and these romantic dreams in my head

 

After MMJ, who weren’t half bad, PJ took the stage at 8:50, and ripped through the set and encores, which took 3 hours.  Yeah, 3 hours of getting my PJ jig on.  I will get a setlist up soon, but some highlights for me were Porch, Rats, a new tough version of Garden, Don’t Gimmie No Lip, and Hard to Imagine.  Stone blew an amp, which was great, right before they were going into Animal, “one, two, three, four….five against one”, and the band stops….it was awesome. 

 

3 hours later, exhausted, but still very pumped….we board one of the 12-15 busses lined up outside the arena on our way back to NYC, it took far more time to get back to NYC than it did to leave.  Once we got back…we were starving again, and looking for something to coat our sore and rough throats, so we walked around to find a diner….and wouldn’t you know it, we found one at 1:00 am….just a few blocks off Times Square.  We ate breakfast, I had the waffle platter, my buddy had the pancake platter…and we washed them down with a milkshake.  Hit the spot like no other!  Neither of us wanting to tackle the challenge at hand…how to get back to our hotel with the R line being very unreliable.  So….we looked at a map in the subway station….we decided to take the 7 train to a station 10 blocks away from where we were staying, and pray that we can catch a cab there to take us the rest of the way.  Queens at 2 am to a couple of out of small town guys is kinda scary.  So the train ride across Manhattan and Queens at night was neat, looking out the window watching the city pass by makes a person feel pretty small, and makes the world seem that much bigger.  The dark, black backdrop with white holes punched in it, passing by…..more while holes than stars in the say it seemed…..just amazing. 

So we reached the station, the smell of urine greeting us as we get off the train….we walk down off the platform, make it to ground level, and the first things we see…..a cop car, cherries blazing, and more prostitutes than you can shake a dollar bill at…..needless to say, this part of Queens…not so pleasant at 2 in the morning.  Lucky for us, there was a line of cabs there, I waved one down, and 5 minutes later, 10 bucks later we were at the hotel….the best 10 bucks I ever spent! 

We slept for 4 hours, got up, went to the airport.  Our flight left at 11:30, we figured given our NYC travels up to that point, we should allow as much time as possible to get to the airport, so we did, and made it in plenty of time.  We both had different flights back, however as I was getting my ticket, the guy asked, are you two traveling together?  Yeah, ok…well let me get you on his flight, and he did free of charge.  Nice guy!  However, we weren’t able to sit together on the way back.  Instead I had to listen to a 50 year old lady talk about how much she LOVED NYC while I worked on my Bible Study lesson plan for the youth that night.  After I was done with that, she proceeded to want to talk to me more about how much she loved the place….I pretended to fall asleep for the remainder of the flight.

NYC, honestly, if it wasn’t for the great big cluster f of getting jerked around by the MTA, I think that it would have been far more tolerable.  Most people were friendly enough, I mean I wore my Red Sox hat there the whole time, and only got one guy give me crap about it, and that was at the concert and was totally all tongue in cheek.  However, I think somewhere between KC and NYC the words “Thank you” used together in a sentence are lost.  Time after time, when my buddy and I were waited on, or whenever we had an opportunity to say thank you we would…..people would just act as if they didn’t even hear what you just heard….like it came across in translation as a grunt, or a pause in communication.  Strange.  I only had one person respond to a “thank you” and it was from a very smiley lady at the airport where I got my morning coffee on Sunday…..Krystal, was her name, I said thank you, she responded “you are very welcome, have a good morning and a safe flight.”  Krystal, I like you.  Thank you for giving me hope that all people in your town aren’t beaten and worn to the point of forgetting how to be considerate.

I will talk more about the PJ show it’s self once I get the set list in front of me…..until then, I hope this proves as a good enough journal to get you by for now.  There is a lot more to tell, but I am afraid not enough time….

I haven't posted for a while huh? Excited!?!

06.02.06 (11:24 am)   [edit]

You think you are excited, you should feel these nipples!

Well tomorrow about this time, I will be in NYC putzing around until 5 so my buddy and I can take a bus to see Pearl Jam in New Jersey.  Looks to be a good time.  We are both really excited to go not only to see PJ, but deep down we both love to go to new places.  Neither of us small town country bumpkins have been to NYC.  We both went to Chicago a few years back with our respective women at the time, this time we will be going solo......and it looks to be a great time.

I told him today that it seemed like only yesterday when we used to tell each other that we had dreams of seeing PJ in concert, and we would tell each other in great detail what happened in our dreams.  Now we are flying halfway across the country to see our favorite band in concert together.  We are needless to say pumped.  I have been pretty worthless all day long today just waiting to get going.  My mind is already there, my bags feel like they are already packed.....and Footsteps is playing as I write this.....

Don't even think about reachin' me
I won't be home
Don't even think about stoppin' by
Don't think of me at all
I did, what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you...

Don't even think about gettin' inside
Voices in my head, voices
I got scratches, all over my arms
One for each day, since I fell apart
I did, what I had to do
If there was a reason, it was you...

Footsteps in the hall, it was you, you
Pictures on my chest, it was you
It was you...

I did, what I had to do
And if there was a reason
Oh, there wasn't no reason, no
And if, there's something you'd like to do
Just let me continue, to blame you

Footsteps in the hall, it was you, you
Pictures on my chest, it was you, you

Next week, I hope to have some pictures up somewhere....I will keep you posted.

Happy Pearl Jam Day!!! 

Oh yeah...one more thing....

05.11.06 (9:36 am)   [edit]
Last night I went to a youth church function, just to see how other people are reaching out to the youth.  I have officially decided, that I am going to take guitar lessons so I can lead the youth in song.  Funny, I have been trying to teach myself here and there for the better part of oh I dunno.......9 years?  I figure, that since I cannot sing, I better find another way to lead a worship band, and I have always wanted to know how to play guitar.......now is as good of a time as any I figure.

Because I am cheap.....

05.11.06 (9:20 am)   [edit]

I thought I would give all of the Mothers that I know out there a big "HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!"  For those that know me personally know that I am a Momma's boy, to a certain extent. 

One story about my mom, one of my favorite/saddest memories of my childhood.  This story was what taught me what a mom is. 

When I was 4, my mom, who was working two jobs just to keep food on the table as a single mom, was doing the best that she could to provide for me.  In every aspect, as far as clothes, toys, crayons, paying the bills....etc.  I had no idea how much she was providing for me/our happiness.  One day, she made an attempt to surprise me by taking me to an event being held at my daycare.  I don't remember specifics of what the event was supposed to be and such, but I do recall that the event as it turned out was not a Parent-Child activity, it as more like a Father-Son activity.  So mom shows up, holding my hand telling me how much fun we were going to have at this event......her and I together.  I was excited.  Well, I remember going to the registration desk, and mom saying, we are here for the event.  I remember the guy behind teh desk saying....well, sorry to inform you that there is nothing that I can do for you......but this is a Father-Son event, not Mother-Son.  My mom said, look I am a single mom, his dad lives in Georgia, I am all that he has, please can't you let us go?  Nope.  The guy wouldn't budge.  Mom and I left, she doesn't know it, but I looked up and saw tears on her cheeks.  This vision has stuck with me through 24 more years of life after that.  My mom was also trying to be my dad as well.  Tough work for a single mom. 

I love my mom to pieces, I would do anything for her.  Although, now at times she can drive me batty, I still love her through it all. 

So Happy Mothers Day to all of the Moms that I know that read this.  Give your mom a hug this weekend, tell her how much you love her......even if at times she can drive you batty. 

Love ya mom

 

You read my mind!!

05.10.06 (8:16 am)   [edit]

I can't tell you how many times I wrote this song in my head, but Augustana beat me to it by actually putting it to paper.

Ladies and Gents, I give you Boston by Augustana off All the Stars and Boulevards album

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care,
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

Essential and appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care,
You don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...
Boston... where no one knows my name...

Take you Back

05.09.06 (8:52 am)   [edit]

Take you Back by Jeremy Camp

The reason why I stand
The answer lies in you
You hung to make me strong
Tho my praise was few
When I fall I bring your name down

But I have found in you
A heart that bleeds
Forgiveness replacing all these thoughts of painful memories
And I know your response will always be

Chorus:
I'll take you back always
Even when your fight is over now
I'll take you back
Even when the pain is coming through
I'll take you back

You satisfy this cry of what I'm
looking for And I'll take all I can
and lay it down before
The throne of endless grace now
that radiates what's true
I'm in the only place that erases
all these faults that have overtaken me and
I know that your response will always be

(Chorus)

I can only speak with a graceful heart
As I'm pierced by this gift of your love
I will always bring an offering
I can never thank you enough

You take me back always
Even when my fight is over now
You take me back
Even when the pain is coming through
You take me back

Biggest Fear

05.09.06 (8:48 am)   [edit]

What is your biggest fear?  I had an opportunity to talk to my Youth Group this past week about fear.  So what is your biggest fear? 

Mine is that I feel like I spent so much of my life being selfish, seeking pleasures, being materialistic, and seeking relationships with girls.  I kept thinking that these things were the things that life was all about.....all trivial non-relavent stuff. 

So what is my biggest fear?  I feel like I spent so much time being concerned with all of these things that I am now making up for lost time trying to serve.  I know, understand, and accept that it is all part of a plan.  I told someone the other day what my description of "Today" is.  My description of today is simple....Today is exactly what it is supposed to be.  That is it.  It's that simple.  However sometimes, it is easy to slip back and think....man, if I wasn't chasing all of those things that mean nothing, I could be at another point in my life today.  But I remind myself.....today is exactly what it is supposed to be.  Then all is better. 

Once I accepted that my life is all part of a plan, with human choice sprinkled in for effect and character building, I felt this weight lifted, and life then became so simple, less complex, and for once in my life I felt free.  I still feel free, and with each passing day, I feel even more so. 

Life is great, once you understand it really isn't yours.  Every once in a while, events happen, like for me....last week.....I felt really bad for a day, thinking every relationship that I am in is destined to fail.  Not true.  Now that I have time to reflect, I now understand that when/if I find that one, it will not fail.  Exciting!

I think that is all for now.....I think I could blab more....but I am sure you are ready for me to stop. 

05.08.06 (11:20 am)   [edit]

If you want to know about it, you know how to contact me.......Since I cannot figure out, or rather do not have the time to figure it out, but I am listening to a guy named David Garza, his CD called This Euphoria.  He comes highly recommended by Jeff Ament, compairing him to Jeff Buckley, so how can you go wrong right?

Kinder by David Garza

Ooh I got the oceans here in a little bag
It's in my back pocket, just look for yourself
Yeah, and I got the forests tied up in a little pouch
It's all around my neck, just hanging right here

Ooh I'd like to tell you what I think about you baby but I can't say it
Ooh I'd like to tell you what I think about you baby but I can't say it
Cause I'm a nice guy

Step inside of my new, kinder love
Step inside of my new, kinder love
Me and your heart, we're one and the same

Ooh I got the heavens wrapped up, they're all mine
I lay with the angels and I sleep with the saints
Yeah, and I got the sun wrapped up in a little stash
It's in my top drawer, yeah it's just sitting right there

Ooh I'd like to tell you what I think about you baby but I can't say it
Oh, I'd like to look at you in the eye mother but I can't say it
Cause I'm a nice guy

Step inside of my new, kinder love
Step inside of my new, kinder love
Me and your heart, we're one and the same

This made me cry!!

05.03.06 (7:00 am)   [edit]

From a parent of one of the Youth at my church.

I have to tell you that I am absolutely extremely amazed with the
e-mails that I have read from you over the last week or so --- they are
truly written by a mature Christian man and we are truly blessed to
have
you working with our youth!  I know I am totally comfortable having
part
of my daughter's spiritual life being led by you --- and I have to
believe other church parents feel the same way!  You can not
imagine
how much that means!  I love you man!  Big hug!

This is an e-mail from my good friend K, who has been a brother to be for years.  He used to be my youth group leader when I was a pup, and now, I am the youth leader for his daughters, and eventually will be the youth leader for his son. 

Life has a cycle.  A good friend of mine told me to picture it like a horizontal spiral, with events that keep happening in your life until you learn from them, and get it right.  It has taken me 28 years of life to come to this conclusion........I love people, and sometimes to a fault!  Sometimes I open myself up to quickly, and before I know it, my heart is exposed.  If there is a weakness, then that is one of many of mine.  Opening up way to quickly......but the thing is, I am not certain I can help it.  Any ideas?

Am I OK???

05.02.06 (2:26 pm)   [edit]
I haven't decided yet.  Though I will tell you, you get a strange feeling in your eyes when you cry and you have your contacts in.

Gone

05.02.06 (12:33 pm)   [edit]
No more upset mornings
No more trying evenings
This American Dream I am disbelieving
When the gas in my tank feels like money in the bank
Gonna blow it all this time, take me one last ride
Oh the lights of the city, they only look good when I'm speeding
I wanna leave em all behind me cause this time I'm gone
Long gone,
This time I'm letting go of it all
So long,
This time I'm gone

In the far off distance
As my taillights fade
No one tends to witness but they will someday
Feel like a question is forming
And the answer's far
I will be what I could be
Once I get out of this town

For the lights of this city
They have lost all feeling
Gonna leave em all behind me cause this time I'm gone
Long gone,
This time I'm letting go of it all
So long,
Long gone, I'm letting go of it all
Yeah, This time I'm gone

If nothing is everything
If nothing is everything I'll have it all
If nothing is everything then I will have it all

Happy Pearl Jam day!!!

05.02.06 (8:56 am)   [edit]

Well,

Lots to share.  Most of the people who come here to read my stuff already know, but I will say it again.  My gf and I have decided to part ways, we still have yet to meet face to face to tell each other, but in typical fashion in our relationship, everything has been done over the phone.  We both, oddly have been feeling the same things in terms of our relationship, and we both decided mutually that althought it sucks, and we don't even remotely come close to hating each other, it might be just a matter of time before we do.  It might be best to break things off, permanently for now, but as we both have stated, you never know what will happen in the future.  We both believe that the main thing that happened in our relationship that proved to be the wedge in our relationship was lack of time.  We both have extreme passions to help people, however in different ways.  But both of these passions seem to have kinda brought us apart.  Sadly. 

It might be easier of either one of us didn't like something about the other, but we don't.  We both still love each other, and we both admire each other greatly.  Sometimes, I guess you need more than love to make something work, I you need time to spend with one another. 

I also get this impression that maybe there might be another reason why we didn't work, and it goes with the lack of time, but also my accepting the positon at my church.  I think that she felt my heart being pulled into ministry, and she found that was going to be one more thing that she was going to have to find time in her life to support.  I feel bad for putting her in that position. 

I could go on, but I think I will stop now.  I might go on later, hopefully I won't though, because it isn't making accepting it easier.

Questioning....

05.01.06 (12:22 pm)   [edit]

Well, I could tell you all of my trials involving relationships.  That would force me to take a trip back into time.  Which would also force me to feel pain, guilt, suffering, and everything else that goes along with it.  The past I believe is where the problems of today exist.  They say that history repeats, and I am starting to agree.  I think it is part of a learning process really, what sets the pattern in your youth, is what consumes your future.

Me?  I was doomed to lead a life full of relationships where as soon as the road gets rough I want to jump ship.  This never used to be my approach, I was taught this, and guess what, now it is my choice to apply it to my every relationship since.  I am in a relationship right now where I believe my gf and I have been fighting for the better part of three weeks....on and off.....from the stupid to the complex, but all in all they have been arguments.  Thing is, with each passing one, I feel two things.....guilt and less and less want to correct the problem.  The lack of wanting to correct the problem is what makes me feel guilty.  Then when I feel guilty, I feel like the relationship is on the outs, and then I feel even more guilty because I feel that I will get crap from my friends and family, because I have brought another person into their world, just to have me yank them away. 

So what is the cause of all of this relationship madness?  Guilt.  Gotta let it go.  Guilt from the past can comsume and dominate your present and future.  I think that is what is happening to me right now.  For every relationship that gets hard, I keep asking myself, is it really supposed to be this hard?  I dunno.  I didn't used to think that it was, but with every relationship that I get myself into I think that now I am "grown up" means I am supposed to know exactly what I want out of life.  Guess what?  As far as relationships and love with a significant other goes, I haven't a clue.  I mean I know what I want....but I have no idea how to get there.....especially right now.  Is that a sign that I am doomed?  I dunno.  But I am sure that future postings will let you know.

What sucks though is that as of now I have no idea.  I am kinda impatient.

Lots of catching up to do!!!

04.24.06 (8:52 am)   [edit]

As promised I told you all that I would write a little something about swing dancing, Pearl Jam on SNL, Easter, a business trip, and the Da Vinci Code.  Well, I have decided to scratch the part about the Da Vinci Code because I want to.  Instead, if time allows, I will write a little something about my past weekend.

 

These things happened last weekend so you will have to bear with me as it seems like a year ago.

First of all Ben Harper was on David Letterman two Thursdays ago, and he was AMAZING, I cannot wait to see him live!

Swing dancing.  Now I am far from a dancer of any kind, and I dare not give you the impression that I am.  However, I will tell you this; it is really easy to learn dance moves of this style, because it is all about repetition.  Isn’t that what they say hell is?  Repetition?  Kidding.  Seriously….here goes the swing dancing story.  Had a few margaritas prior to going, because well they sounded good.  By the time I got there, they could have told me we were going to do pole dancing, and I would have say, uh…..ok.  I’ll do it!  Because once you get to drinking margaritas….to quote Will Ferrell from Old School….”it tastes so good once it hits your lips.”  Better words may have never been spoken, very wise Hank the Tank!  We did what is called the East Coast Swing, differing from the West Coast.  I think the difference from East to west, is that West is the one where you throw your partner all over the place, on your back etc…..East Coast is a little more conservative I would say.  I was told that we might have picked the wrong dance to start taking lessons as the partners do not mirror each other’s steps, still, as long as I knew what I was doing, it seemed that we were able to do just fine.  My girlfriend has much experience in dancing, and she loved it and had a great time.  I had a great time watching her more than the challenge of learning something new.  I wish I could have watched her dance when she did it competitively, that would have been fun!

 

Pearl Jam on SNL…..they blew the roof off the place, especially with their performance of Severed Hand!  That was AWESOME!  I can’t wait to see them live in 40 days.  Yeah, the count down has begun!

 

Easter….I can’t remember…..sorry.  The only thing that I was going to write about I think was the comparison between Santa and the Easter Bunny.  I think 9 out of 10 kids maybe more scared of the Easter Bunny than Santa.  Reason why……bunny rabbits aren’t human sized, and they certainly do not walk on their hind legs.  Santas look like they could be your grandpa, i.e.…..they look human.  Easter bunnies are nothing more than a Hallmark employees bad acid trip. 

 

Business Trip…

Was lots of fun.  I was able to learn a lot of new and cool tips associated with work and such.  I could go into detail, but I don’t want to bore you….of course, if you have read this far you are already bored.  The best part about the trip was hanging with all of my co-workers.  We usually only see each other twice a year I think, but we talk everyday, so it is always good to see them in person.  Also, it is good to catch up and hang with sis, we have so much in common, and I feel like an over protective older brother when we talk and such.  I dunno why, but I do.  We do have a connection that is unexplainable, but it is a connection that isn’t in the form of a relationship type of thing, but more of a family sort of thing.

 

This past weekend…..finally this will bring the blog up to date……I was up for 30 plus hours.  But I will start with Friday evening, I made calls to get a perspective of who cares to get involved with the youth at my church……see ms that there are quite a few that want to be involved, or at least hear what my vision is.  So I was inspired, it will be exciting.  I plan on having a meeting soon to share the vision with everyone, and get feed back and ideas as well.  I am excited; it should be lots of fun.  Saturday, I woke up at 8, made myself some blueberry pancakes, yummy!  Hung out for a while, and then went to a dance recital for one of my youth, who I am very close with….another younger sister sort of thing.  She is the daughter of some very good friends of mine who are family, so it only makes sense that she feels like a younger sister.  It was cool to watch her enjoy something, even though her knees are killing her, she still enjoyed it.  After that it was pretty much all helping out with after-prom stuff from basically 9:30pm to 6:30am.  Then I took a shower and went to church.  It was youth Sunday, so they were the driving force behind the service, I was proud; they did a really good job with all of the skits, singing, solos, and even dance.  It was good stuff!  Towards the end of one of the skits, which consisted of a girl who was very excited to tell all of her friends about being involved in church, and Christ, she said….”Oh hey, I can’t talk a lot right now, I have to get ready to go to the Bible Study that is lead by our wonderful new Youth Coordinator (name inserted here).  Then everyone turned around to smile and clap at me.  I got teary.  It means a lot to think that I can make a difference in other people’s lives, and preparing them to be a follower of Christ.

So after service, I went home to sleep for a few hours, power napping……wo ke up, and had no idea what so ever where I was, what time it was, and if I was supposed to get up and go to work or not.  Nope….it was off to have my Bible study with the youth, and for a change of pace, rather than drilling them with scripture after scripture, I took them out to a local custard place, and bought them a custard concoction of their choice.  Then after we got back to the location where we usually have the study, I gave them a few scriptures and we briefly talked about dating, joys of it, and pressures often associated with it.  Then I told them, reason why I took them out…..I said, in any good relationship, people should be able to show one another the appreciation that they have for the other, out of feelings and out of respect.  I told them, I cannot find a way to give back to them what they give to me.  I told them at the end of each opportunity that I have to lead the study; I grow more and more blessed to share this experience with them.  I literally cannot sleep at night for a while after having the study because I am so excited and happy to share the word and life’s experiences with them.

I spoke with my sister this weekend as well….my real life sister, I need to share that story sometime….

She told me I sounded differently, something in my voice….she is so keen about me, she can pick a lot up just by talking with me over the phone.  I told her about all the things that have been happening in my life, and then I told her I am the Youth Coordinator or Youth Minister/Pastor (as some people call me) at my church.  She said I think that is it….how did you get involved.  I spent the better part of 10-15 minutes making an attempt to explain to her that through the course of my life to this point God has been leading me to this point in my life.  I told her that literally one morning I woke up and thought, you know with everything that I want to have control of in my life, I have none.  I also told her, and this might have driven it home, is that today is exactly the way that it should be, and I think that is the answer to it all.  God is in total control of everything around us and of our lives, and once you submit all of your feelings of control to Christ, life is so good after that.  I think for a moment, I shook my sister’s world, and she is one of the smartest people I think I know….she was for a few moments, speechless.

Anyway, if you made it this far in the ramblings…… thanks for reading, until next time!

   

 

The waiting is the hardest part.

04.20.06 (9:28 am)   [edit]

To help ease your pain....I have decided to do sort of a re-run posting.....i posted this back in 04 sometime.  I am still trying to the point where I can write, but again NO TIME!!

DVD's and the great Wal-Mart conspiracy.

01.02.04 (7:14 am)
So the other night I went to the local Wal-Mart and raided the buy two DVD's for $11 bin. It is kinda like excavation at a old egyptian tomb or something, because the further you dig, you never know what you are going to find. I am always in search for horror and cheesy sci-fi movies, they are my favorites by far. On of my favorite cheesy sci-fi movies of all time was sitting right on top, Dark City. The ending of this movie always messes with me. I have always been a fan of movies that have the plot of the human race being nothing more than an experiement.
So I dug, because you know how you are when you are digging in the value bin, you can never just get the one movie, you have to get both so you can indeed spend the $11. So I dug for that one movie, the one that would make all of this digging worth it, Howard the Duck hmmm, I'll pass.....I'm Gonna Get You Sucka.....maybe later........The Exorcist III.....possibly.....then there it was, sitting there in the middle of the bin..A Nightmare On Elm Street 1. Are you kidding me? In the value bin? This is mine! So I brought this thing to the counter with the feeling like I had found the Lost Arc of the Holy Convenant...Dark City Rings up.....5.50, yep, that's right....now for Nightmare....come on, Sam Walton has got to be spinning in his grave right now, 5.50 for Elm Street!? Beep, the checker passes the DVD through.....9.88. Grrrrrr! That was in the 2 for 11 bin I told the lady. She said well, I can have a price check on it, sometimes people will just put a DVD in there on mistake. Really? So as she was reaching for the phone, for the price check, I turned, and saw about 10 people in line behind me with a look on their faces like, if you let her go through with the call, we are going to lynch you outside. I told the lady forget it, I'll just get the movie.....
I have a theory. I was set up. Wal-Mart employs nothing but a bunch of blue smock scam artists. They probably have a person who comes in late at night, and throws regular price products in with the value merchandise. Then when the person is getting ready to pay, it rings across as it's regular price, and the shopper is so worn out by wrestling and shoving their way around Wal-Mart, they don't have the energy to put up another fight, so they just say give me the damn movie.
I once worked at a Wal-Mart, as a 5 am to 2 in the afternoon stocker. I worked in the HBA department..Health and Beauty Aids.....I stocked everything from hairbrushes to tampons to condoms.....and I am not making this up, condoms were in aisle 69. Tell me that wasn't set up! Yet another Wal-Mart conspiracy!
So if any of you have a suggestion for good horror and sci-fi movies let me know, and I will check them out.
I watched Soylent Green last night......IT'S MADE OF PEOPLE! What a classic line!
So following the eating people theme....I have a song of the day...Dirty Frank by Pearl Jam. It was originally a B-Side on the Jeremy single. Now it can be found on the great Lost Dogs compilation.

Dirty Frank

Dirty Frank Dahmer, he's a gourmet cook...
Got a recipe for famous ankle soup.
Wanted a pass, so she relaxed...
Now the little groupie's getting chopped up in the back.
Got a cupboard full of fleshy fresh ingredients.
Very careful, at the same time quite expedient.
Eats meat, a release...
Bus driving's harder on your head than on your feet.

Dirty frank! [4x]

Keeps it clean, keeps it copasetic.
The little boys and girls, their heads are all collected.
Not crazy, per se...just a little strange when he gets hungry.
City, state, your town, he will continue.
Stadiums, tiny clubs, every venue.
His bus, your trust...There goes another turned into crust.

Dirty frank! [4x]

(Watch it now... )
Why that dirty Frank was a bad mother...
Shut your mouth!
Hey man, I'm just talking about Dirty Frank!
(cook... there those fucking kids are driving me crazy... )

Middle of the night, we're stopped, the freeway shoulder.
Frank's shoveling to bury the leftovers.
They're sunk...he's drunk.
Now he's gonna drive, I'm hiding in my bunk.
The band all knows, we're too afraid to mention.
Don't want to be part of frank's luncheon.
Lose weight, be safe...
Where's Mike McCready?
My god, he's been ate!

Dirty Frank! [5x]
Frank... [3x]
Dirty Frank! [3x]

(He's gone fruit loops... it's the perfect job)

Cook 'em just to see the look on their face...
Cook 'em just to see the look on their face.
[10x]

(Mommy, mommy, I'll just sing to my mommy... )

Why that Dirty Frank was a bad mother...
Shut your mouth!
Hey, I'm just talking about Dirty Frank!

Dirty Frank! [3x]

Why that Dirty Frank was a bad mother...
Shut your mouth!
Hey, I'm just talking about Dirty Frank!

Time waits for no man!

04.20.06 (7:21 am)   [edit]
I have lots to tell, but little time to do it.  I hope to have something up today with thoughts on swing dancing, Pearl Jam on SNL, Easter, a business trip, and the Da Vinci Code........stay tuned.

I'll have fun.....BUT....

04.14.06 (8:35 am)   [edit]

Man she will owe me!  She will at least have to go to a movie of my choice or something.  BACKGROUND INFORMATION.....uh.....I can't dance, and whenever I try....and I mean "try" I feel very strange, out of place, etc.  The only place I feel I can dance is when I go to a concert, yeah....I have what is called my Pearl Jam dance.  Can't describe it, but I think it is the only music that moves me to dance.  In church, when they play a certain song, I am moved to move....not dance, more of a sway.  Some of my favorite Christian Contemporary songs right now.....I really like Hands of the Potter by Caedmon's Call (my church doesn't play this song), and Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns. 

Anyway...I can't dance.....so, here is what I have to say.  Tonight, I am going swing dancing.  My girlfriend loves to dance.  She was a competitive dancer up to her later teenage years, so she loves it.  So I am going......for her....love is sacrifice right?  Eh, I know I will have fun, these days I can find fun in nearly everything.  I just hope I don't look like a moron.

Wish me luck!